Wordgag ツ

5 months ago
Share →: The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

Commentary:
"Here's a deliciously logical excuse to indulge in cake 🍰 – safety first! Remember, a little extra fluff can be your best defense against being whisked away 🍰🦸‍♂️. So go ahead, treat yourself to some cake and build your own personal fortress! Stay safe, stay sweet! 💪🍰 #CakeIsLife"
5 months ago
Share →: I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle of striving for balance while literally carrying the weight of the world! 🌍💪 Just your friendly neighborhood Atlas casually trying to avoid getting a backache. Remember, it's all about that core strength and a good chiropractor! 😄"
5 months ago
Share →: Who needs a weighted blanket when you’ve got the weight of the world?

Commentary:
"Who needs a weighted blanket when you've got the weight of the world? 💪🌎 Maybe a nice cup of tea and a nap on a cloud could help lighten that load! ☁️😄"
6 months ago
Share →: I think my bank account has been taking Ozempic.

Commentary:
Oh no, your bank account has been slimming down like it's on a weight loss medication! 💸💊 Looks like it's in for a bit of a financial detox! 😂 #BankAccountGoals
6 months ago
Share →: Hungry me has no respect for bathroom scale me.

Commentary:
"Hungry me: 'Who cares about the bathroom scale? Food is life! 🍔🍰' Bathroom scale me: 'I thought we had a deal!' 🤨⚖️ #FoodVersusWeight #HungryBrainWins"
6 months ago
Share →: You only realize how heavy your handbag really is when your car tells you that your passenger is not wearing a seatbelt.

Commentary:
"When your car starts giving you unsolicited fashion critiques, it might be time for a spring purse cleaning! 🚗👜 #HeavyHandbagProblems #SafetyFirstFashionSecond"
6 months ago
Share →: Being the forward-thinking person I am, I kept my winter fat through the summer.

Commentary:
"Ah, the genius strategy of prepping for winter while basking in the summer sun! 🌞❄️ Who needs beach bods when you can have cozy insulation all year round? 😂 #FutureFashionTrendsetter"
6 months ago
Share →: My fitness goal is to lose two straight jacket sizes.

Commentary:
🤣 "My fitness goal is to lose two straight jacket sizes… because who needs arm mobility anyway, right? 💪👚 #priorities"
6 months ago
Share →: When I put on weight, it’s around my stomach. When I lose weight, it’s around my legs. I’m not a structural engineer, but that can’t be good.

Commentary:
"Ah, the mysterious ways of weight distribution – seems like your body's architecture might need a remodeling permit! 🏗️😄 Just remember, you're not alone in this 'construction zone' journey!"
6 months ago
Share →: My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

Commentary:
"Who else feels misled by our childhood expectations? I was fully prepared for a life of dodging secret passageways, but all I got was the ol' weight gain and existential dread combo deal 🤷‍♂️🔮 Keep calm and watch out for that quicksand, folks! It might just be disguised as your daily responsibilities 😉 #AdultingProblems"