Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Getting to the age where I’m like, “Oh, hopefully I’ll be dead by then.”

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I’ll be like “I’m fine” then shake my leg at 150 mph.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up, we had to manually roll up our car windows.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Dating a smart man, so I actually can turn my brain off when he is around.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

It’s strange being the same age as old people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,388

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

The algorithm knows about that thing you like that you’re denying yourself of.

Just landed via Reddit:

The Wi-Fi stops working for 2 minutes, and suddenly I start thinking about life.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Inside you, there are two wolves. Kevin Costner is dancing with both of them. I don’t know how this works.

Making waves on Messenger:

How do you text “okay” but in the rudest way possible?

Trending via Messenger:

God doesn’t do nearly enough smiting anymore.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I hate when I turn off my brights for an incoming vehicle and then realize it’s a Cybertruck.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I try not to post too much, to give everyone else a better chance at being seen.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

Just landed via Messenger:

I have good problem-solving skills, but my problem-creating skills are where I really shine.

106 Funny weight quotes

More funny weight quotes 👇

If I ever go missing, promise me that you won’t put my weight on the poster.

2 weeks ago

ever, humor, i, joke, me, missing, poster, promise, put, self-image, weight
Fellas, if your lady is mad, ask her if it’s because she’s put on some weight. That’ll calm her down.

2 weeks ago

advice, ask, calm, fellas, humor, joke, lady, mad, put, relationship, weight
How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

2 weeks ago

advice, diet, funny advice, health, humor, joke, loss, organs, stomach, weight, weight loss
A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

2 weeks ago

Earth, humor, joke, Mars, overweight, person, perspective, planet, weight
I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.

2 weeks ago

diet, fitness, gaining, humor, i, irony, struggle, week, weight
People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

2 weeks ago

dislike, fitness, humor, irony, lose, loss, lost, motivation, people, someone, weight
Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?

2 weeks ago

everything, fat, humor, joke, leave, me, weight
Losing and then immediately gaining weight is my superpower.

2 weeks ago

fitness, gaining, humor, irony, losing, self-deprecation, superpower, weight
Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

2 weeks ago

activity, asleep, eat, eating, humor, loss, napping, relaxation, sleep, weight, weight loss
I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

2 weeks ago

back, diet, fitness, follow, humor, irony, loss, media, social, social media, unfollow, weight, weight loss

For even more funny weight quotes, hit next 👇

All funny weight quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Reddit this month:

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

Kid, I have jeans older than you.

81 shares on X this month:

Eating cold ravioli counts as breakfast if you’re still wearing yesterday’s clothes.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

11 shares on Discord this month:

If I ever become a ghost, I’m gonna go back and haunt college me. Tell him to hydrate.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

66 shares on Discord this month:

Five out of six people find Russian Roulette to be a safe activity.

23 shares on Telegram this month:

Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

As a simulation, this all kinda sucks.

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

My mood is currently on “shuffle”.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I stopped writing “Feel free to reach out if you need anything else” at the end of my emails because please don’t do that.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

My coffee and I used to be hot. Now, we’re just bitter.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, I’d be Michelangelo.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Has anyone ever died from waiting for a group of people to decide what they want to eat.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I wish I could physically experience the inside of a lava lamp.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

They can steal your recipe, but the sauce won’t taste the same.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Just because you can connect to your neighbor’s bluetooth speaker and play ghost noises doesn’t mean you should.

Spotted on Twitch:

Don’t put words in my mouth—that’s where the hot dogs go.

Trending via Telegram:

I talk to one guy, and he wants to break my heart. I talk to five guys, and they all wanna take me seriously.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Subtitles are for when you’re eating chips.

Live now on Pinterest:

If I let you into my life, I am either emotionally invested or you are a grilled cheese sandwich.

Just shared via Discord:

Big accounts just say water is wet and get 1 trillion likes.

Just landed via Slack:

The next man who speaks to me will be sacrificed to the gods for a bountiful harvest.

Seen just now on Slack:

Welcome to middle age. “I carried a watermelon” has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

Trending via Pinterest:

Before I work on myself, does anyone like me unhinged?

Activity Log ✨

106 Funny weight quotes

More funny weight quotes 👇

All funny weight quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨