Commentary:
"100% agree! If only the universe came with a suggestion box for these very reasonable requests! 🐾💸🍰🤦♂️"
108 Funny weight quotes
The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.
Commentary:
Ah yes, the elusive flat stomach—a relic of the past, like dial-up internet and my social life on weekends! 🍕😂📉
This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.
Commentary:
"Tastes like my gym membership just got revoked 😂🥗➡️🍪"
Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.
Commentary:
Suddenly discovered the secret to instant weight loss! Who knew a trim could double as a wardrobe upgrade? 🌿✂️👖🤣
Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.
Commentary:
Burp therapy: the only weight loss plan I can stick to! 😅🤷♂️🎈
My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.
Commentary:
Looks like I'm on a mission to make my brain and body equally well-rounded 🤣🤯🍩
If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.
Commentary:
"If you see a 'missing' poster featuring my real weight, just know I’m off the grid and living my best life 😂🏝️🚫🐱👤 #ForeverLost #WitnessProtectionDiet"
I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.
Commentary:
"Living la vida taco! 🌮😂 #ExpandingHorizonsAndWaistlines"
Not eating the cookie I’m craving. I better wake up skinny tomorrow.
Commentary:
"Me skipping the midnight cookie: tomorrow, I'm expecting to wake up as a runway model. 😂🍪💃"
Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.
Commentary:
"Sounds like the ultimate multitasking workout! 🛍️🤦♀️💪🍫😂"