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If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme. But read and lead don’t rhyme, and neither do read and lead.
The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.
Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.
Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.
Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

More funny weird quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Commentary:
"Dentist appointments feel like a strange blind date – except instead of a romantic dinner, it's a root canal 😬🦷 Let's hope they don't find any skeletons in your closet… I mean, your mouth! 😂"
5 months ago
Share →: Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

Commentary:
"Isn't it ironic how ants decided to skip the 'ant'arctic party? 🤔 They must have had a falling out with penguins or just hate snowball fights! ❄️🐜"
5 months ago
Share →: Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

Commentary:
"Well, if you want a party that's really 'bleating' edge, go ahead and fill up those animals with helium 🎈🐐 Who knows, maybe they'll finally reach new heights in their social circles! Just make sure they don't take off and become the G.O.A.T. of the skies! 🚀😂"
5 months ago
Share →: Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

Commentary:
"Ah, the epic saga of two fleshy beings in the age of digital communication! One bag of flesh eagerly awaits symbols on the glowing screen, while the other bag of flesh is out there living life unbothered. 🤔💬📱 #ModernStruggles"
5 months ago
Share →: Divorce is so weird. Why do I have an ex-aunt?

Commentary:
"Divorce really turns family trees into family shrubs. 🌳🪓 Having an ex-aunt is like owning a discontinued edition of a relative. 🤷‍♂️ It's all fun and games until the family reunion becomes a 'where are they now' episode." #AwkwardFamilyDynamics 😅
5 months ago
Share →: Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

Commentary:
"Imagine the looks on the fish's faces as they see us approach… 'Oh look, here comes the two-eyed creature! Better swim away before it tries to give us a hug with its front-facing eyes!' 👀🐟😄"
5 months ago
Share →: Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

Commentary:
"Well, excuse me while I dial up some drama for tomorrow! 📞🤢 Can't wait to see the reactions when I 'soft launch' my call out the 'stomach bug' way. Your move, stomach… Your move. 🤣 #SneakyCallOutStrategies"
5 months ago
Share →: Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

Commentary:
Isn't it strange how one hand is the star performer while the other is just a clueless bystander? 🤔🖐️ "Come on, left hand, it's time to step up your game!" 😂✍️ #HandyQuirks
5 months ago
Share →: My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

Commentary:
Oh, the ultimate crime – cheesecake theft in the name of good food and poor hearing! 🍰🚪 At least now he knows that if he wants a slice of that delicious dessert, he better make sure to shout louder next time! 🔒😂
5 months ago
Share →: I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

Commentary:
"Imagine swimming around the office, minding your own business, and suddenly your coworker decides you look like a snack 🐟🦈 Office politics just got a whole lot fishier! 🐠 #LunchBreakDrama"