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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

The nerve of a majority of people I meet being younger than me. How dare them?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

797 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,959

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,959

Updated

22 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

According to “The Hobbit”, Gollum was once a handsome young man who was robbed of his youth, zest for life and energy by putting on a ring. Men, think about it!

Breaking via Twitch:

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

Trending via Facebook:

November is for turtlenecks and depression.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

Breaking via X:

Me waking up: wow, I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

Trending via Reddit:

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

Live now on Instagram:

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like even demons need a fresh start! 🤣👹✨ Who knew exorcisms could be mutual agreements? Just imagine the demon politely asking, "Would you mind casting me out, please?" 😈 #DemonEtiquette

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

797 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,959

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,959

Updated

22 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I hate it when I go to hug someone sexy and hit my head on the mirror.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

The unemployed urge to say I love you during a job interview.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

I’m not here to offend anyone; I’m here to offend everyone.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Trying to be cute today but my face isn’t cooperating.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Good morning, may your coffee be strong and your boss not weird today.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

Breaking via X:

If you really think about it, extraordinary isn’t that great. It’s just an extra helping of ordinary.

Breaking via Threads:

I try not to post too much, to give everyone else a better chance at being seen.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

One thing I love about the internet is seeing some of the most hateful people posting inspirational quotes.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

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