Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Pro tip: Avoid the news for a couple of days and have some fun.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

For my final act of love, I will never contact you again, but think of you always.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

House sitting for friends while they’re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Jurassic Park came out decades ago, and now I feel like a fossil.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

That moment when rappers mispronounce a word just to make it rhyme.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Can I come over and figure you out?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I am like a wildflower, a quiet rebellion blooming through ruins and dust.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,267

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

It seems a little unfair that the people who want to go to bed have to put the people to bed who don’t want to go to bed.

Making waves on Reddit:

I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it, the computer tells me it’s incorrect, and I’m like, ‘Wow, you didn’t have to be so rude about it.’

Shared recently on Threads:

When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

My favorite unit of measurement is smithereens.

Trending via YouTube:

I love being home and doing absolutely nothing and never contributing to society.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

Trending via X:

Bursting into a million bats the second I see you.

Trending via Pinterest:

I think being a hopeless romantic is giving me brain damage.

Seen just now on Reddit:

What if you went to ET’s planet and all of the other ET’s were wearing clothes?

Spotted on Telegram:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”.

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

0
Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sure thing! The ETA for 'this too shall pass' delivery is currently stuck in existential traffic, but it should be arriving fashionably late like a wise old proverb any minute now 🕒🚗 Hang in there, patience is a virtue after all! 😉"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Messenger this month:

If you have an old house, but you haven’t got a ghost, you should complain to the estate agent.

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

38 shares on X this month:

I like people who make eye contact like they know something I don’t.

17 shares on X this month:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

83 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A simple “hi” can be the beginning of two years of therapy.

80 shares on Discord this month:

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Making a cult with only intuitive introverts so we can all sit in silence, side-eyeing each other suspiciously.

58 shares on Threads this month:

My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that makes him cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

17 shares on Messenger this month:

A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

67 shares on YouTube this month:

People aren’t so bad if you stay indoors and don’t talk to them.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The best way to use Twitter will forever be as an observer.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

How do I get my glasses prescription placed in my windshield?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Choosing to ignore my strangely symbolic dream because I have a lot going on right now already.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

11 folks are currently checking 👀

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,677

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Women don’t pretend anymore to dig for something in their purse and then pull out their middle finger.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Being a girl must be so easy. All you do is cry all day and text 10 different guys.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

To save money in this economy, I’ve tried eating out and I’ve tried cooking at home. The answer is starvation.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it’s Sunday!

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Your reply guys are like Pooh Bear. They wear no pants and are relentlessly trying to get in your honeypot.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Don’t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

Seen just now on Twitch:

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

Making waves on Slack:

Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

Going viral on Snapchat:

You are what you eat! (If anyone needed more encouragement to eat the rich.)

Trending via Telegram:

Sorry, I’m late. My alarm didn’t go off because I didn’t set it, because I don’t want to be here.

Making waves on Facebook:

Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.

Shared recently on WeChat:

It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

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