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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I’m really looking forward to eight hours of thinking about sleep tonight.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

My brain logged me out due to inactivity, and I can’t remember the password.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

My soulmate is chocolate cake.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,915

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

The only thing I know about AI is, it desperately wants us to have more fingers.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

Trending via Snapchat:

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

Spotted on Slack:

You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Cute how I complain that my kids are spoiled when I’m the one who spoils them.

Going viral on Twitch:

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

Trending via WeChat:

Therapy isn’t gonna cut it, I need vengeance.

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Still checking my mailbox for that wisdom delivery! 📦🧠😂"

age, age humor, aging, humor, impatience, joke, kick, life, life joke, old, older, still, thing, waiting, wisdom, wise

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

1 month ago
alcohol, communication, contact, danger, dangerous, date, eye, eye contact, humor, interaction, me, relationship, social, social interaction, tell, want
If you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia, you risk getting stoned.

14 hours ago
Arabia, drug, drug law, getting, humor, joke, law, pot, risk, saudi, Saudi Arabia, smoke, stoned, wordplay
Not many things sadder than an untickled fancy.

1 month ago
emotion, fancy, humor, irony, sadness, sarcasm, things, wit
Is it ‘My wife and I’ or ‘Me and my wife’? Anyway, we just robbed a liquor store.

1 month ago
couple, crime, grammar, humor, i, just, liquor, liquor store, me, robbery, store, wife
Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow.

4 months ago
28-day, 28-day challenge, challenge, daily, daily goal, goal, humor, i, motivation, no-swearing, procrastination, restart, self-improvement, started, today, tomorrow
Blink if you want me!

2 months ago
attraction, blink, communication, date, flirty, humor, me, signal, want

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Please don’t delete your post. Yes, it was pretty stupid, but my reply to it was a masterpiece.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

“Love is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

(at an incredibly low point in my life) I should start dating again.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Why be just a part of the solution when you can be the whole problem?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

Making waves on Discord:

I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

You don’t realize how incorrect and annoying YouTube video essays are until they’re about something you like.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I can’t explain it, but I am very bold and very shy at the same time.

Just shared via Reddit:

The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from the day we’re born and only stops when you’re taking a test or speaking to someone attractive.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

If you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia, you risk getting stoned.

Not many things sadder than an untickled fancy.

Is it ‘My wife and I’ or ‘Me and my wife’? Anyway, we just robbed a liquor store.

Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow.

Blink if you want me!

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

My budget for this month is a smile, and I don’t know how long that will last.

As long as I can dip something in something, I’m happy.

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Forget a dinner date, let’s go sit in court listening to people’s cases.

Your Honor, that doesn’t sound like me.

Do people with lip filler know that they look like that?

Sometimes you really do write a whole poem just to give one beautiful phrase a home.

Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

“Just circling back on this.” – “Take another lap.”

Quitting my job to focus on watching YouTube.

I’d pretend to care about football for you.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

“It’s the most wonderful crime of the year!” I crooned running away with the pot of Santa’s donations.

Tried a smile yesterday and my white blood cells attacked it.

I tried yoga once. I pulled a hamstring and my dignity.

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

I hate when I change the battery in the bathroom scale, and it starts telling the truth again.

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How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

If you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia, you risk getting stoned.

Not many things sadder than an untickled fancy.

Is it ‘My wife and I’ or ‘Me and my wife’? Anyway, we just robbed a liquor store.

Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow.

Blink if you want me!

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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