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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Someone said I should think before I speak and I said “eww what a horrible way to live”

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Nudes are played out. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Telling my guitar to “stay tuned”.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Yes, I am super annoying, but don’t worry, it’s just permanent.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,593

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

Life sucks. One day you have tiramisu, and then most other days you don’t. I hate that.

Trending via Messenger:

Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

Making waves on YouTube:

I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

Shared recently on WeChat:

People argue with me more in my head than they do in real life.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

Trending via Pinterest:

Sometimes I can’t believe people have had the honor of experiencing my love and chose to hurt me instead.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Good news, I just decided I don’t care about anything anymore.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

Just shared via Twitch:

“You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

Trending via Facebook:

Don’t understand why electricians aren’t called power rangers, but okay.

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Still checking my mailbox for that wisdom delivery! 📦🧠😂"

age, age humor, aging, humor, impatience, joke, kick, life, life joke, old, older, still, thing, waiting, wisdom, wise

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

0

2 months ago

advice, bed, chores, daily, daily habit, discipline, habit, hear, humor, morning, morning routine, motivation, needs, productivity, routine, sure
My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

0

2 months ago

cleaning, domestic, domestic life, glance, housework, humor, idea, laziness, life, room, sweeping
What’s a girl gotta do to feel a dopamine high around here?

0

2 months ago

around, dopamine, feel, feeling, frustration, girl, here, high, humor
There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

0

2 months ago

effect, humor, i, joke, men, migraine, relationship, self-deprecation
Normalize having a threatening aura, but really just being a sweetheart.

0

5 months ago

attitude, aura, being, having, humor, irony, just, normalize, personality, sweetheart, threatening, threatening aura, vibe
Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

0

2 months ago

conversations, explanations, good, humor, i, morning, relationship, routine, saying, sleep, straight, wife

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

Serious replies to silly posts are now illegal. Go talk to your wife.

73 shares on X this month:

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

41 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s Monday, proceed with caution.

91 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

86 shares on Twitch this month:

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

53 shares on TikTok this month:

If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.

59 shares on WeChat this month:

Polar bears drinking Coca Cola is my favorite holiday vibe.

69 shares on Facebook this month:

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

30 shares on YouTube this month:

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Interviewer: Can I get you anything? Me: Yeah, a job!

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

I’m really looking forward to getting a full 8 hours of overthinking in tonight.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

They should invent a self-checkout where someone else scans the items and puts them in a bag.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

My life plans are fading like Marty McFly’s family photo.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

No one flirts better than a guy who’s not interested in you.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Yeah, I can explain that gap on my resume, I tried to move a picture in Word.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

In university, you are either struggling academically, financially, emotionally, or all three.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. 30 minutes was not the right answer.

Just landed via Threads:

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

Going viral on X:

If GPT-5 will have ‘Ph.D.-level intelligence’, then GPT-6 will have the intelligence of someone who decided not to get a PhD.

Just landed via X:

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

People say, “Listen to your heart, do the right thing,” like they are the same things.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Once you’ve read the dictionary, every other book you read is just a remix.

Going viral on Snapchat:

You know what part I love about waking up? None of it. Let me sleep!

Freshly posted on Slack:

All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.

Breaking via TikTok:

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

Spotted on Messenger:

Every morning I regret why I didn’t sleep earlier the night before.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

What’s a girl gotta do to feel a dopamine high around here?

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

Normalize having a threatening aura, but really just being a sweetheart.

Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨