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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

The fatigue is reaching levels that shouldn’t even be possible.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

My doctor just diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation. Now I’m worried shitless.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m really good at compromising as long as I get my way.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Maybe the clouds, trees, and flowers love looking at you too.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Waiting until 4:59 p.m. on Fridays to send an email, because any response is Monday’s problem.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

There’s nothing I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,458

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

My budget for this month is a smile, and I don’t know how long that will last.

Just shared via Discord:

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

Spotted on Instagram:

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

Just landed via YouTube:

Y’all screenshot payment confirmations to make sure they don’t play with y’all too?

Seen just now on WeChat:

Weed smokers be like, “Hold up — before we go to the store, I have to get scared.”

Shared recently on Slack:

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

Shared recently on X:

Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When I say "music," kids say "streaming?" 👨‍🎤📼😆

age, am, entertainment, humor, i, media, MTV, music, music video, nostalgia, old, played, still, video, videos

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s actually scary how your whole life depends on how well you did as a teenager.

0

5 months ago

actually, dependency, depends, fear, growing, growing up, life, reflection, scary, teenager, well, whole, youth
The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

0

2 months ago

count, cynicism, humor, inconsistency, only, people, relationships, reliability, sarcasm, thing, trust
Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

0

2 months ago

disrespect, humor, identical, just, keep, lifestyle, private, public, saw, together, twins
Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

0

2 months ago

clothes, flirt, humor, kiss, longing, me, relationship, somebody, tariff, witty
Well, I’ve been depressed and poor, but sure, we’ll call it intermittent fasting.

0

5 months ago

call, depressed, depression, eating, eating habit, fasting, financial, financial struggle, habit, health, humor, intermittent, intermittent fasting, mental, mental health, poor, poverty, struggle, sure, well
I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

0

2 months ago

adulting, age, errands, going, humor, just, means, routine, running, weekend, where

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Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Discord this month:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, begging for my cat’s attention.

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

They should invent a “stay signed in” checkbox that isn’t meaningless.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

Why do fruit flies be everywhere but at the supermarket? Ain’t that like their Golden Corral?

99 shares on Threads this month:

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

72 shares on Twitch this month:

Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

92 shares on Discord this month:

One of my biggest faults is that when I ask someone their name, I forget to listen to what their name is.

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

33 shares on X this month:

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

53 shares on Slack this month:

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Whoever named rice cakes is probably also responsible for Paris, Texas.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

My diet was going really well until I woke up.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I told my daughter to check her attitude, and she responded, “For complaints about attitude, please contact the manufacturer.”

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Please hesitate to reach out.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I could win awards for having a bad memory. In fact, I probably did. How would I know.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

How do I tell the mosquitoes that I don’t consent?

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on YouTube:

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

People without a sense of humor should not be allowed to decide what people with a sense of humor are allowed to laugh at.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m too tired to shower. Anyone want to wash my back?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

Trending via Telegram:

Porn looks so funny when you’re not horny.

Broadcasted on X:

According to a recent study, women who are a little overweight live longer than men who mention it.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Saturday Night Fever, but it’s just me yelling, “Five, six, seven, eight!” while my cat lies down and refuses to participate.

Spotted on Twitch:

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

It’s actually scary how your whole life depends on how well you did as a teenager.

The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

Well, I’ve been depressed and poor, but sure, we’ll call it intermittent fasting.

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨