Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Everyone hates on Gollum but he had the right idea: become a hermit, collect jewels, swim naked in lakes and pools, occasionally hiss at people who try to make you go places.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

German couples probably have less arguments because there’s an exact word for, “I’m fine, just annoyed you forgot the milk again”.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I love how you get on Twitter, and all your thoughts are already in someone else’s tweet.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

If I was ever told to “dress to impress”, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

When you ask for your phone charger back and your teenager has the audacity to ask “what percentage are you on?”

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

I’m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,698

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

My body is a vessel for various dips.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

No one flirts better than a guy who’s not interested in you.

Trending via Instagram:

I can now see how sitting on a porch could fill an entire life.

Shared recently on Telegram:

He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

Trending via Discord:

Good morning to everyone except the baristas who don’t tighten the lid.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

People who take two steps on the stairs are both active and lazy at the same time.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

I be having full arguments in my head, then walk around mad like someone actually said something to me.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When my inner voice decides to pick a fight, I end up giving the silent treatment to the air. 😤🗣️💭

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Don’t tell me to trust my gut. Thats where I put my snacks. Clearly that’s where I’m the weakest.

2 months ago

food, gut, humor, i, me, put, self-deprecation, snacks, tell, trust, weakness, where
Waiting until 4:59 p.m. on Fridays to send an email, because any response is Monday’s problem.

6 months ago

email, Friday, Fridays, Monday, problem, procrastination, response, send, time, waiting, work
Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

2 months ago

behavior, early, flight, going, humor, irony, late, late night, mood, naturally, night, night owl, owl, procrastination, room, schedule, self-deprecating, sleep, sleep schedule, stay, tomorrow, tonight, weird, weird behavior
Don’t be boring. Create the gossip you would like to hear.

2 weeks ago

advice, boring, create, creativity, fun, gossip, hear, humor, personality, social
If they cancel the Simpsons, we will no longer be able to see into the future.

2 months ago

cancel, entertainment, future, humor, prediction, satire, show, Simpsons, TV, TV Show
Maximizing rent value by turning ‘homebody’ into an Olympic sport!

5 months ago

homebody, maximizing, maximizing value, Olympic, Olympic sport, rent, sport, turning, value

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on TikTok this month:

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

54 shares on WeChat this month:

This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

69 shares on Discord this month:

Not gonna lie, to this day, I don’t know the difference between gray and grey, I just wing it.

84 shares on Twitch this month:

One downside of marrying a doctor is you have to give up eating apples.

77 shares on X this month:

My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

56 shares on Reddit this month:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

13 shares on YouTube this month:

Normalize ending a hang-out abruptly by saying ‘I wanna go home now’ and then going home.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

76 shares on Reddit this month:

Nothing good happens on the credit card after midnight.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I’m looking for insults so intelligent you don’t realize you’ve been roasted until three thoughts later.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Being flirted with while you’re on the clock feels like a hostage situation.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

When I say I’m Christmas shopping the “for myself” is silent.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I keep saying, “It is what it is,” but what even is it?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Drive like no one is watching.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

Seen just now on Slack:

If you breakdance you buy dance.

Trending via Twitch:

When people talk about enriching their lives, I assume they’ve found a way to add more cheese.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

Just shared via Discord:

Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

Trending via WeChat:

Nobody is busier than a woman who isn’t into you.

Going viral on TikTok:

Job interviewer: “Where do you see yourself in 5 years’ time?” Me: “My greatest strength is that I’m a good listener.”

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I need money, not feelings.

Just landed via Facebook:

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I be having full arguments in my head, then walk around mad like someone actually said something to me.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Don’t tell me to trust my gut. Thats where I put my snacks. Clearly that’s where I’m the weakest.

Waiting until 4:59 p.m. on Fridays to send an email, because any response is Monday’s problem.

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

Don’t be boring. Create the gossip you would like to hear.

If they cancel the Simpsons, we will no longer be able to see into the future.

Maximizing rent value by turning ‘homebody’ into an Olympic sport!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨