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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

You can always tell it’s Monday because nobody’s smiling.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Glad to be born at a time when I got to see what life was like before the internet, and will be dead before AI completely destroys humanity.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

It’s time to stare blankly at my wall for hours straight and think about where I went wrong with my life.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m at an age where I don’t have to go anywhere and I still have jet lag.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

The problem with people starts when we expect things from them, or have anything to do with them.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m thinking stuff like “yeah” and also stuff like “yup.”

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

I have no idea how dishwasher tablets work. I’ve already taken five of them, and I still don’t feel like doing the dishes!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,529

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Saw a guy reading a book and writing notes in it. Not enough words in there for ya, bud?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Showers are the best places to lose arguments with yourself.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

“Just circling back on this.” – “Take another lap.”

Just shared via Reddit:

If you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.

Just shared via Facebook:

“Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Getting your hair washed by someone else is one of life’s greatest joys no one really speaks about often.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

Just landed via Instagram:

People don’t hate working, they hate working and still being poor.

Just landed via WeChat:

Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

Shared recently on X:

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and retweet if you agree.

2 months ago

0

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and retweet if you agree.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"🙄 Can we get a like, comment, and retweet for this relatable callout? It's like some folks have a 'like' button for a self-esteem boost! 🤷‍♂️ Let's show some love for the validation seekers out there, one click at a time. 😂 #NeedMeALittleLike"

agree, attention, comment, constant, humor, i, media, need, online, people, retweet, social, social media, stand, validation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

0

2 months ago

account, am, create, create account, frustration, humor, i, online, technology, tyranny, under
One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel.

0

4 months ago

animal, day, going, humor, love, obsession, relationship, someone, squirrel
Americans are funny, man. “It’s 72 degrees outside.” Bro, I don’t speak oven.

0

3 weeks ago

72, American, Americans, bro, casual, casual speech, Fahrenheit, Funny, humor, i, joke, man, outside, oven, speak, speech, temperature, weather
Teens are like, “My homework isn’t done, but check out this presentation I made on why I need Instagram.”

0

2 months ago

check, distraction, done, excuse, homework, i, Instagram, media, need, presentation, procrastination, school, social, social media, technology, teen, teenager, teens, why
Pool rules: You’re not allowed to do anything that begins with the words ‘Hey everyone watch this!’

0

2 months ago

activity, everyone, fun, humor, pool, rule, safety, watch, words
They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

0

2 months ago

governance, humor, invent, party, political, political party, politics, satire, should, suck

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Slack this month:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

61 shares on YouTube this month:

To the spirits in my walls: going to the store, be right back.

92 shares on Telegram this month:

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

I thought the noise my husband’s stomach was making was never going to end last night until I realized it was a motorbike outside.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

I highly recommend having hobbies, it distracts you from falling in love unnecessarily.

24 shares on WeChat this month:

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

54 shares on TikTok this month:

Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

12 shares on Slack this month:

Sorry if my posts have any typos, it’s because I’m driving.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m lacking vitamin c-ash.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The phrase “Treat yourself” has ruined my bank account and waistline.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“You handled it so well.” Nah, I didn’t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,460

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

My Uber driver didn’t try to talk to me the entire ride. Five stars.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

I’m terrified of escalators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Foo fighters still fighting foo.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Cleaning your kid’s room will piss you off, cause why is my Airfryer in here?

Just shared via Snapchat:

Men can stay up til 2 a.m., wake up at 6, be in debt, broke, alone, and still have faith that one day, everything will work out. It’s called being a man.

Just shared via Messenger:

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

Going viral on Threads:

Normalize saying, “I’m not informed enough to have an opinion on the matter.”

Just landed via Discord:

My sleep schedule and I are not on speaking terms.

Trending via Telegram:

My husband told me that he used my sock trick on a recent trip, so he wouldn’t lose any. Reader, my “sock trick” is rolling matching pairs together.

Spotted on Slack:

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

Making waves on Discord:

Demi Lovato is short for demilitarized love potato.

Just shared via Messenger:

Just read the Ten Commandments for the first time and you can’t do shit with your neighbor.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I used to think the cat was dumb for staring out the window, waiting for birds, but I’d probably stare too, if occasionally a pizza flew by.

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