Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

I am so out of shape right now, that if someone yelled “run for your life!” I’d be like “ya’ll go ahead, I’m meetin’ Jesus today!”

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

I love how bananas just take over the whole smoothie. You can never dim her light.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

It’s so hot, ice bears are opening lemonade stands.