Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • My yoga instructor was drunk today. Put me in a very awkward position.
  • Deleting dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he and his donkey rescue me from a tower guarded by a dragon).
  • Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.
  • Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.
  • Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.
  • Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.