I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

I remember when asking someone if they were on X meant something completely different.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.