Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Jokes on you, unknown number. I barely answer my phone for people I know.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Spending the day with my mom and her mom, just observing the patterns.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Girls want a bad boy to fix. Boys want a good girl to corrupt. Me? I just want a rumbustious monkey as a butler.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Hey (threateningly), can I join your years-old, tight-knit, close friend group?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

“Oh, I’d love to but I can’t.” Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Saturday Night Fever, but it’s just me yelling, “Five, six, seven, eight!” while my cat lies down and refuses to participate.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Got a scam email full of mistakes like they’re not even trying. It won’t be long before AI takes their jobs.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Breaking via Facebook:

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

Seen just now on Messenger:

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

Seen just now on Threads:

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

Just landed via Instagram:

“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by “Wham” encourages you to do something you shouldn’t do.

Going viral on Reddit:

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When the only green I want on my pizza is extra cash! 🍕💰😂

business, dining, dislike, food, humor, i, joke, mixing, pizza, pleasure, preference, vegetables

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Petition to make check-in at hotels 11am and check-out 3pm, not the other way around. Like, WTF?

0

2 months ago

around, check-in, check-out, checkout, confusion, frustration, hotel, petition, time, travel, WTF
Only a couple more days until I come home and pretend I forgot about Valentine’s Day.

0

2 months ago

couple, day, days, forget, forgot, home, humor, i, love, only, pretend, relationship, valentine’s, Valentine’s Day
The prettier you are, the weirder it gets.

0

2 months ago

appearance, beauty, humor, personality, prettier, weirdness
“God has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?

0

5 months ago

communication, divine, divine plan, feedback, God, humor, little, ok, open, plan, sarcasm
Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

0

2 months ago

ages, awkward, awkward moment, communication, context, fail, humiliation, media, message, miscommunication, moment, nothing, odd, picture, send, social, social media, something, technology, technology fail, text, text message
Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

0

2 months ago

angel, beautiful, beauty, beer, compliment, drink, flight, humor, metaphor, observation, romance, seeing, take, woman

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

78 shares on X this month:

I may be sensitive, but everyone else could be a little kinder, too.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor can’t block it out.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m sorry for the things I said when there were too many noises at the same time.

74 shares on Slack this month:

In my 20s: Jingle all the way. In my 40s: Jingle til around ten.

49 shares on Telegram this month:

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

64 shares on Threads this month:

Nighttime is when I remember that one weird thing I said in 6th grade, and feel bad about it forever.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

No, I don’t comment, I voodoo doll like a real adult.

48 shares on TikTok this month:

I really love how squirrels get extra chubby heading into winter mostly because it’s super relatable.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Going to the beach as a feet guy must be insane.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Just because I’m friendly doesn’t mean I like you. It just means that I’m not rude.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

I kinda want a boyfriend but then where will I put my purse when I drive?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Going to have a hobbit boi summer (throw a huge birthday party for myself, then mysteriously vanish right after insulting everyone).

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

I don’t hate anyone in particular, I just hate everyone in general.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Forget Botox. If you really want to look younger, get braces.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

Just landed via Discord:

Why would I work from home when I don’t even work from work?

Going viral on Slack:

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

Just shared via TikTok:

“I’m not dramatic. I just react with the intensity of a Shakespearean widow at all times.”

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Why isn’t there a mosquito that sucks fat?

Making waves on YouTube:

Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.

Making waves on Facebook:

My sleep schedule and I are not on speaking terms.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Golf would be more exciting to watch if they played naked.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Petition to make check-in at hotels 11am and check-out 3pm, not the other way around. Like, WTF?

Only a couple more days until I come home and pretend I forgot about Valentine’s Day.

The prettier you are, the weirder it gets.

“God has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨