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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Rather than touching grass, I recommend going to a concert and experiencing the live performance of that one song you hold religiously close to your heart.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Blowing over it is also dusting.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

I’m sorry your man wears his sunglasses on the back of his head.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I love when people say, “In college, I wrote a paper on…” as if that holds any academic merit.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

GTA6 should have streams and wetlands so we can work to conserve and restore them.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

This meeting could have been an oil painting.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m upstairs and the food is downstairs. Send help.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I love how a film can be life-changing for one person and boring for another.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,515

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

That odd feeling when your lunch break is over and you still have to work for another 30 years.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

We were supposed to have flying cars and other cool stuff, but instead we have AI videos showing Michael Jackson eat at McDonald’s.

Making waves on Threads:

Coffee: Because without it I would be a serious danger to society.

Seen just now on TikTok:

It’s always a huge relief when I’m reading a list of symptoms of a deadly disease, and it says unexplained weight loss.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Crying while wearing a backpack has unlocked a new level of humiliation I did not know was possible.

Going viral on YouTube:

My toxic trait is that I give my friends mental health advice when I belong in an asylum.

Breaking via YouTube:

Not right now. I’m manifesting.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Naked and Afraid because there’s a spider in the shower with me.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

You’re like if “nope” was a person.

I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

17 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about adulting struggles, playful and humorous text on an image.

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Commentary:
When you finally find that "adultier" adult, let me know! 🕵️‍♂️🔍😂

adult, adult life, adulthood, adulting, feel, humor, i, large, life, life struggle, looking, portion, procrastination, responsibility, struggle

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Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

My comments on your home decor are not criticisms, they are deep concerns.

37 shares on Threads this month:

Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

Cupid’s arrow should have just killed me instead.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

100 shares on Twitch this month:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.

84 shares on Discord this month:

They’re selling me on Temu tomorrow.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

Capri Sun tastes as if scientists had bet that they could make fruit juice without fruit.

32 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Like most people my age, I’m 50.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Do you ever hang out with someone else’s family, and you’re like, ooooh, so this is what it’s supposed to be like?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately most of my sex noises come from trying to get out of bed.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

If a ham is allowed to spiral then so am I.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s, your level of cleaning is directly related to whether your guest can see without readers.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

My greatest joy in life is when a friend reads a book I recommend. My greatest frustration in life is when they don’t read it fast enough.

Spotted on YouTube:

I am calling on public libraries to ban the books that I borrowed and lost. We don’t need that kind of crap in the libraries.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

Trending via Threads:

Petition to change the name of rice cakes to something else as they are 100% rice and 0% cake and I’m tired of all the gaslighting.

Shared recently on Instagram:

You spend so long trying to think of a name for your cat only to end up calling them “for god’s sake” and “please stop”.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

Just shared via Messenger:

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

Spotted on Discord:

Passive income? Brothers, I need massive income.

Spotted on X:

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart.

Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

“Nobody wants to work anymore!” Personally, I have never wanted to work.

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart.

Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

“Nobody wants to work anymore!” Personally, I have never wanted to work.

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨