I just looked over at my new shoes and the box says “vegan”. I’ve never had to feed my other shoes before.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

It’s always “your monthly bill is available,” never “this month is on us.”

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

If Keith Richards survived the ’70s, the ’80s, and 1.2 million Marlboros, I can probably survive anything.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

You don’t get much engagement? Have you tried being retarded.