Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Toasters aren’t governed by that little dial. They have free will.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

A bad relationship can ruin a good song.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Thank God for headphones and day dreaming.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Coughing has finally overtaken speaking Arabic as the most taboo thing to do in an airport.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

I don’t understand, “kill them with kindness”; can I use a lightsaber instead?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,603

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Is Mercury in reggaeton?

Seen just now on TikTok:

Autocorrect changed ‘are you around?’ to ‘are you aroused?’ and my buddy didn’t want to hang out today.

Trending via YouTube:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Piñatas are a fun way to intentionally maim the guests at your party.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don’t want to.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Asked a German girl for her number, and I’m still waiting for the rest of the digits. So far, all I have is “nine.”

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I love being a girly girl and going to sleep all moisturized, juicy, and soft. Lip balm on. Layering on scents just to beauty rest.

Shared recently on Discord:

When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.

Making waves on WeChat:

Who’s your favorite horror director? Mine’s God.

I like it when someone feeds me their food without me asking. I feel like a part of my inner child heals.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Honestly, food being shared is a real-life healing potion for my inner child 🍕🍟❤️‍🩹

asking, child, feeding, feeds, feel, food, healing, i, inner, inner child, kindness, me, sharing, someone, surprise

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

0

2 months ago

comfort, comfort food, food, gratitude, happiness, humor, i, live, pizza, planet, thankful
I would never put up a lost dog poster. I’m not letting the whole neighborhood know I fumbled.

0

2 months ago

dog, embarrassment, Fumble, humor, i, know, lost, lost dog, neighborhood, never, pets, poster, put, responsibility, whole
If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.

0

2 months ago

aisle, check, decision, ever, food, humor, i, just, missing, snack
Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

0

2 months ago

$2.99, entertainment, frustration, humor, irony, movie, rent, service, services, streaming, streaming service, unavailable, unfortunately, want, watch
Babe, are you ok? You’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive.

0

2 months ago

alive, babe, being, comedy, conversation, dark, dark humor, existential, horrors, humor, ok, relationship, sarcasm
My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

0

2 months ago

before, behavior, child, child behavior, dislike, eater, even, food, food dislike, humor, kid, kids, knowing, parenting, picky, picky eater, superpower

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on WeChat this month:

Folks, please have more respect for people with glasses. Because they pay money to see you.

43 shares on X this month:

Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

Just a few more hours of scrolling, and then I will finally know.

17 shares on Reddit this month:

Dear life, when I said “can this day get any worse” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

20 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

77 shares on YouTube this month:

Job hunting has legitimately been the most demoralizing experience of my life. Nothing else will make you realize how little you can actually do.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Co-worker: You look so unapproachable. Me: Yet, here you are.

69 shares on Telegram this month:

Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ve come to the conclusion that my guardian angel is very possessive about me.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s funny how sometimes you buy a book, then read it in two days, and sometimes you buy a book, and it lives on your bookshelf for 12 years.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Icarus loved hot wings.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, “this looks like a job for a binder clip.”

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Asking a film guy, “Who is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Architects should try and design a house with no yelling.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Indiana Jones is a fantasy about being a professor with no admin duties.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Pasta is something I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

People never run off to join the circus anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Word on the street is that the fire in your heart is out.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

Just shared via Telegram:

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Normalize throwing lamps at people who need to lighten up.

Spotted on Twitch:

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

Going bananas on Threads:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, if you could take some stuffing out of the midsection and give it a little forehead kiss, that would be great.

Breaking via Pinterest:

That awkward moment you can’t understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times.

Going viral on Facebook:

Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I wanna be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have some new ideas.

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I like it when someone feeds me their food without me asking. I feel like a part of my inner child heals.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

I would never put up a lost dog poster. I’m not letting the whole neighborhood know I fumbled.

If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.

Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

Babe, are you ok? You’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive.

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨