Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Current state of politics: The circus is on fire but the monkey is fine.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

“You never text back.” No, I be reading texts from the notification bar, then forget to text back.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this place immediately.”

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

(at an incredibly low point in my life) I should start dating again.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

I don’t always seize the day. Sometimes I poke the day with my index finger and go, ew, ew, ew, ew.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Doctors are always giving me Ibuprofen. Man, give me something I can sell.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,721

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

Going viral on Threads:

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

Spotted on YouTube:

When I look at the world, I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Making waves on Slack:

I have the bruises of a much more active person.

Just landed via Facebook:

First date idea: we deactivate your Instagram.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Damn, girl, are you Black Friday? Because I’m wondering what your bloody deal is.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Cows are very calm, considering the whole floor is food to them.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

Broadcasted on Threads:

It’s this time again when you have to choose between coffee and mulled wine in the morning.

Trending via Threads:

I like to minimize the disappointment by being myself right from the start.

I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like you're ready to floss those fashion skills! 😜💃

clothing, dental, dental floss, fashion, floss, hot, humor, i, joke, lingerie, put, red, wanted, wear

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

0

2 months ago

anonymity, band, costume, favorite, humor, joke, mask, member, music, Slipknot
If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

0

2 months ago

celebrity, even, hacked, humor, identity, irony, Kanye, know, privacy, surprise
Breakfast is the most important beer of the day.

0

2 months ago

beer, breakfast, day, food, humor, important, morning, most
They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

0

2 months ago

before, coffee, coffee maker, humor, little, maker, office, pass, rules, should, test, touch, training, training video, video, watch, workplace
I had no social life in high school. Even my imaginary best friend had a date for the prom.

0

2 months ago

best, date, even, friend, high, high school, humor, i, imaginary, imaginary friend, life, loneliness, prom, school, social, social life
Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

0

2 months ago

awkward, communication, humor, interaction, joke, misunderstanding, nothing, offline, offline people, online, online joke, people, social, social interaction, tell, trying

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

16 shares on WeChat this month:

No open job postings for “Warrior Poet” found in your area. Please try another search.

30 shares on Messenger this month:

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I suppose someone has to do all the consuming and obeying.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

Lego bricks are classic educational toys. You step on them once and you can do ballet.

70 shares on TikTok this month:

What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

15 shares on Slack this month:

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

You are the Monday of my life.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

People don’t get slapped enough with empty gloves these days.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

I think I’ma end the year with a plot twist, everyone hold on tight.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Can everyone please turn their A/C off during the day, we need that power to generate images of people with eight fingers.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to skirt the issue.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Sometimes life is “Eat, pray, love,” and sometimes it’s “Scroll, snack, overthink.”

Shared recently on Threads:

You can tell they named the aardvark early in the week and the anteater on a Friday.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

No Botox. I need to furrow my brow when people say dumb things.

Just landed via Twitch:

I am the first person in my bloodline to attempt to become hot, and I can feel my genes fighting me every step of the way.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

Just shared via Instagram:

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

Shared recently on Threads:

I had a marvelous time ruining everything.

Spotted on TikTok:

I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

Trending via Threads:

Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

Breaking via Threads:

My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

Breakfast is the most important beer of the day.

They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

I had no social life in high school. Even my imaginary best friend had a date for the prom.

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨