Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Being a little freak is my love language.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

If you ever go backpacking in the wilderness, be sure to wear corduroy pants, so you can start a fire if needed.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Have we checked all food to see if exploding it makes it into something better or did we just stop with corn?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Walking into someone’s house with healthy, thriving houseplants everywhere: “Oh, I see you dabble in witchcraft!”

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

I think the real reason this generation is so angry is that their music sucks.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,409

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I fall in love with a song and play it until I absolutely don’t wanna hear it no more.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.

Making waves on Discord:

Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

Breaking via Twitch:

Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

Going viral on Pinterest:

They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

Just landed via Telegram:

I was told to be more optimistic so I’ve decided french fries aren’t bad for me.

Just landed via X:

Fuzzy socks on and ready for anything.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I’ve realized there’s more to life than social media, so I guess this is goodbye for the next 12 minutes.

Freshly posted on X:

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

I’d rather you don’t watch me while I’m liking my own post.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Just doing a quality check! 🕵️‍♂️😂 #SelfLove"

behavior, humor, ID, liking, liking post, me, media, own, post, privacy, self-love, social, social media, social media behavior, watch

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

0

2 months ago

again, desire, first time, humor, i, irony, meet, past, people, time, walk
Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

0

2 months ago

answer, call, conversation, humor, ID, irony, joke, loneliness, me, myself, self, twice, voicemail
One day my sanity went out for smokes and never came back.

0

6 months ago

absence, addiction, back, came, day, health, humor, loss, mental, mental health, mind, never, sanity, smoke
I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

0

2 months ago

communication, email, ever, found, humor, i, me, sarcasm, single, stress, technology, think, well, work
One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

0

2 months ago

building, day, fun, next, pretty, saying, things, young
It’s too bad he never woke up and chose violence. “Bob Ross, mob boss” has a nice ring to it.

0

2 months ago

bad, Bob, Bob Ross, boss, character, choice, fictional, fictional character, humor, irony, mob, mob boss, never, nice, ring, ross, too, violence, wake, wake up, woke

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Telegram this month:

Waitress: “Do you have any questions about the menu?” Me: “What kind of font is this?

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

61 shares on X this month:

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

66 shares on Messenger this month:

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

71 shares on Facebook this month:

Shazam, but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me.

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

43 shares on Discord this month:

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

45 shares on Discord this month:

Life can be so beautiful, you just can’t get sober.

78 shares on X this month:

This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

TMZ will find out you’re dead before you do.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Going to a concert with a tomato in each hand just to make the band nervous.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

They invented the word metallic, because irony was already taken.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Doggy style means I get a treat afterwards, right?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I just want someone who can read a book with me in silence, and then do ungodly things sometimes.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Maybe making another financially irresponsible decision will fix me.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

My phone charger is lying in another room. HELP.

Just shared via Instagram:

Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

Making waves on Facebook:

Sorry I missed your call. I saw that you were calling and immediately threw my phone into an active volcano.

Just landed via WeChat:

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

Seen just now on Discord:

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

Making waves on YouTube:

Me in hell: “So did it hurt when you fell from heaven.” Lucifer: “Get out!”

Broadcasted on X:

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

Spotted on Slack:

If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

ADHD is when you buy a blender and then make smoothies every day for 2 weeks, and then never make one or even acknowledge your blender ever again.

Making waves on Instagram:

Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’d rather you don’t watch me while I’m liking my own post.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

One day my sanity went out for smokes and never came back.

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

It’s too bad he never woke up and chose violence. “Bob Ross, mob boss” has a nice ring to it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨