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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

I can’t wait to buy Chanel bags on a random Tuesday for me and my friends.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Nothing fixes your life the way deactivating Instagram does.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

I went from dancing with myself in the 80s to talking to myself now.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I’m a work in progress that hasn’t made much progress.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,586

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless, and to humor the disturbed.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Why are these idiots only giving robots two arms?

Making waves on X:

Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

Freshly posted on Discord:

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

Going viral on WeChat:

Saying “You’re tearing this family apart” whenever someone argues with me.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

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If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.
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Commentary:
"Patience is key! Good things come to those who wait… and wait… and wait! 😅🔧⏳"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on X this month:

I love single sign-on because you only have to sign on once, 8 times a day.

48 shares on YouTube this month:

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

67 shares on Instagram this month:

I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

Good morning, may your coffee be strong and your boss not weird today.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

Life stopped being real after 2019 anyways.

28 shares on X this month:

My husband asked me if he had any annoying habits then got offended during the PowerPoint presentation.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

I love how this generation broke the previous misconception that “people with tattoos can’t get good jobs” and now we all agree that “people with and without tattoos can’t get good jobs”.

40 shares on Slack this month:

My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

Awkward is the new sexy. At least that’s what I’m telling myself, so I don’t cry in front of strangers.

53 shares on Telegram this month:

Accept the truth that a clean kitchen and finished laundry are just myths. Embrace the chaos and find your inner calm.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst is when it’s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re in his DMs, so am I, but I am way funnier.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t stop me. My tampon wrapper told me I was bold and brilliant.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The actors you see in movies are probably home by now.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is incognito mode always associated with freaky shit? I use it to search up very obvious questions, so there’s no record of me looking dumb.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can die.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,244

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Difference between a flirt and harassment: if you are handsome, it’s a flirt, if you are ugly, it’s harassment.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

If I’m ever in a coma, please pluck my chin hairs.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

We should put a tariff on being mean to me.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Livin’ la vida vodka!

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Let’s go out for carrots sometime.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Only here for the honeymoon phase, don’t show me your true colors.

Just shared via TikTok:

Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

Spotted on Messenger:

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I hate to break it to you, guys, but my husband says you’re not real. He just called you my imaginary friends.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

Just shared via Discord:

There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

Spotted on Telegram:

Sex is like my hair. I didn’t have any yesterday. I didn’t have any today. And unless something drastically changes, I won’t have any tomorrow.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.

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