Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Every time someone tries to fight with me online, a middle finger gets its wings.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Not sure what’s longer: a microwave minute or watching a video while someone else is holding the phone, insisting it’s hilarious.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

I lied, I’m jealous. I hope every girl who looks at you gets clipped by a meteor.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

The older I get, I realize my mom was right, but I just didn’t like her tone.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Date night idea: fight another couple.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I’d rather throw everything I own in the trash than try to deal with people on Facebook Marketplace.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,395

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

Going viral on Twitch:

The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.

Going viral on Facebook:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Spotted on Threads:

Not many quicksand-related deaths since the 1970s. Thank God the authorities got that nightmare under control.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Next on Tiny Houses: A family of 6 moves into a boat emoji.

Shared recently on YouTube:

(at an incredibly low point in my life) I should start dating again.

Shared recently on Facebook:

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Can’t wait to overuse the “My husband said,” “Let me phone my husband,” “I’ll ask my husband.”

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

Going viral on Messenger:

Drilling for oil is well boring.

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to be the package and delivery all in one go! 📦✈️🤣

accident, chance, corner, delivery, door, falling, fast, fast turn, humor, i, open, too, turn, ups, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Hello 911? Yes, my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.

0

2 months ago

911, forced, funny situation, hello, humor, me, meet, meeting, neighbors, over, situation, walk, wife, yes
I miss making out in public and making people feel uncomfortable.

0

2 months ago

activity, display, fun, fun activity, humor, i, making, making out, miss, nostalgia, people, public, public display, romance, uncomfortable
Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

0

2 months ago

around, awkwardness, casual, casual interaction, contact, crazy, everyday, everyday life, eye, eye contact, humor, humorous, humorous observation, interaction, just, let, life, making, me, observation, saying, self-awareness, sidewalk, social, social awkwardness, strangers, walk
Books are so cool because there are no bloody ads in them.

0

2 months ago

ad, ads, book, books, cool, entertainment, humor, media, reading
I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a “talker.”

0

2 months ago

age, communication, contact, eye, eye contact, humor, i, interaction, social, social interaction, someone, talker, where
Who called it a deep freeze instead of ice-o-lation?

0

2 months ago

cold, deep, deep freeze, freeze, humor, ice-o-lation, winter, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s time to stare blankly at my wall for hours straight and think about where I went wrong with my life.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

71 shares on Telegram this month:

One thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say, “My mom said no,” when you don’t want someone to come over.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

96 shares on X this month:

If I like cleaning? Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

79 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

60 shares on Twitch this month:

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

49 shares on WeChat this month:

Turns out “V for Vendetta” is not an educational movie and it won’t teach your kids the alphabet.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

Whenever I feel like I hate my job, I remind myself that I could be a food taster for the emperor.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought putting your heart and soul into a relationship would make it work.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Man, these end times are taking forever.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

My couch better stop looking at me like that, it knows exactly what it’s doing.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Wait, making the right choices is an option?!

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’m glad I have boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me.

Trending via Discord:

I’m so tired. Let’s see all of the horrible things happening in the world today before I try to sleep peacefully.

Going viral on WeChat:

Straight man stuns they/them by ordering in fluent woke.

Just shared via Instagram:

Babe, are you ok? You’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive.

Going viral on Reddit:

Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what does.

Just shared via Discord:

Maybe making another financially irresponsible decision will fix me.

Seen just now on Threads:

Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Hello 911? Yes, my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.

I miss making out in public and making people feel uncomfortable.

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

Books are so cool because there are no bloody ads in them.

I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a “talker.”

Who called it a deep freeze instead of ice-o-lation?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨