Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Need a book club for people who all just happened to read the same book but hated it and now need to vent.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

We need a holiday at the end of every summer that honours all the women who wore sundresses.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

My dad wasn’t absent or present; he was a secret third thing.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Unlocking new levels of iron deficiency.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Sorry I’m late. My catapult malfunctioned.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Can’t argue with a guy that has curly hair. Whatever you say, gorgeous.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,257

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Pinky promises are still a legit foundation of trust.

Going bananas on X:

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

Making waves on Twitch:

Glad to be born at a time when I got to see what life was like before the internet, and will be dead before AI completely destroys humanity.

Shared recently on WeChat:

50 shades of single.

Spotted on Reddit:

Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Does anyone else run a used match under water before disposing of it because you’re afraid it still has some fire left in it, or are you normal?

Just landed via Reddit:

Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to be the package and delivery all in one go! 📦✈️🤣

accident, chance, corner, delivery, door, falling, fast, fast turn, humor, i, open, too, turn, ups, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

0

2 months ago

adult, adult life, adulting, commentary, exhaustion, humor, humor quote, i, life, me, moment, no commentary, no remarks, no thoughts, overwhelmed, remarks, silence, thoughts
You can’t argue with me because I’ll just agree with you until you leave.

0

2 months ago

agree, argue, argument, conversation, humor, just, leave, me, sarcasm, wit
Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

0

2 months ago

chores, dishwasher, dog, dogs, domestic, domestic chores, empty, fold, humor, laundry, never, over, people, pets, practical, practical skills, pretty, roll, sit, skills, train, training, tricks, useful
When you’re feeling down, just turn up the music a little louder.

0

3 months ago

booster, encouragement, feeling, feeling down, just, little, loud, louder, mood, mood booster, music, turn
If you are influenced by influencers, you’re beyond retarded.

0

5 months ago

beyond, humor, influence, influencer, influencers, insult, media, opinion, satire, social, social media
Super excited for a brand new week of hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

0

4 months ago

best, brand, excited, excitement, expectation, hope, hoping, humor, irony, new, optimism, pessimism, super, week, worst

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Discord this month:

Are you ever so happy to be in bed, you wish you could be even more in bed than you already are?

83 shares on Discord this month:

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

50 shares on X this month:

If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.

74 shares on YouTube this month:

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

79 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s not magic, but I bet you are reading this post with one leg on top of the other.

34 shares on Threads this month:

“It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Going from summer clothes to winter clothes: “Okay!” Going from winter clothes to summer clothes: “I AM NOT READY!”

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Everyone loves a little silent treatment on the weekend.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

“I’m fluent in creating worst-case scenarios in my head.”

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Don’t worry, I’m only dead inside from the waist up.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down and you don’t know whether to tell them or not.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If they’re called leggings, why is your stomach in there?

Trending via YouTube:

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The pizza delivery guys say “see you tomorrow” to everyone, right?

Trending via Instagram:

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

Trending via YouTube:

Due to not wanting to, I will not be.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Therapists probably have to struggle so hard not to ask to see pictures of the people their clients are obsessing over.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Waking up has backfired on me so many times.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

Going viral on Discord:

You’re over 35. Better go pee before you leave, pee when you get there, pee while you’re there, and pee before you leave.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

You can’t argue with me because I’ll just agree with you until you leave.

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

When you’re feeling down, just turn up the music a little louder.

If you are influenced by influencers, you’re beyond retarded.

Super excited for a brand new week of hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨