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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

The year flies by when you’re scrolling.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I don’t understand baby oil. What are we greasing up all those babies for?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Being liked at work comes with so many perks, you could be late as hell, and everyone is just happy to see you.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

There is a grave concern that this post will produce zero likes.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

100% of all babіes are unemployed. Pathetіc.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

She got me to fall for her, like a boomer seeing an AI image on Facebook.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

230 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,499

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,499

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,410

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Me, at the intervention: “Ah look, all the reasons I drink gathered in one place.”

Spotted on Discord:

I am not living la vida loca. I am loca because of la vida.

Going viral on Messenger:

“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

Breaking via Reddit:

Marriage is so scary. What do you mean I can’t have my own room?

Shared recently on Instagram:

The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.

Just landed via YouTube:

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

Making waves on YouTube:

How many cups of coffee is OK to have every day? Is it eight? I’m pretty sure it’s eight.

Just landed via Reddit:

I know how to use an abacus as a tambourine.

Just shared via WeChat:

I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.

Spotted on Facebook:

You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

If you get bitten by a snake and you’re not sure if it was poisonous, simply wait to see if you die or not. That should give you your answer.

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If you get bitten by a snake and you’re not sure if it was poisonous, simply wait to see if you die or not. That should give you your answer.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Testing snake bites: the ultimate patience challenge! 🐍⏳😅

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on YouTube this month:

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

36 shares on Twitch this month:

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

48 shares on YouTube this month:

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

“Are you single?” No, I’m in a hallucinationship.

53 shares on Slack this month:

Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

32 shares on Instagram this month:

Nobody gives me butterflies anymore. Y’all just give me brain damage.

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Showers are the best places to lose arguments with yourself.

55 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

74 shares on WeChat this month:

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

35 shares on WeChat this month:

Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

When did making sense stop making sense?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I love the smell of someone burning their last bridge with me.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so single, I have no one to drunk text.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever my hormones try to get me to reproduce after all, I go to IKEA and watch the goings-on there. After that, I’m good again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

230 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,499

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,499

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,533

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

She is both the storm and the shelter.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Just found out that rock bottom has a basement.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I dream of disappearing into the woods with Wi-Fi.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: “Close Enough.”

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

You don’t know a person until you’ve seen them eat popcorn.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

We need a holiday at the end of every summer that honours all the women who wore sundresses.

Trending via Reddit:

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

Going viral on Facebook:

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

Trending via Snapchat:

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

Freshly posted on X:

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

Making waves on Twitch:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

Live now on Snapchat:

Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

Making waves on Threads:

If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

Spotted on Threads:

Unpopular opinion: we really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I deserve a love so pure that my nervous system can finally rest.

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