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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

And is this “year-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I hate when the lotion bottle pump squirts the hardened remains of its mucus plug into the palm of your hand.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

A good audiobook will have you inventing chores to do.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Men microdose bicuriousness by asking what you’d do for a million dollars.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Distance is my jam; solitude is my peanut butter.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,609

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

Spotted on Instagram:

The minute I start feeling like a mother to a man, the relationship is over.

Trending via TikTok:

I kinda want a boyfriend but then where will I put my purse when I drive?

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

Spotted on Messenger:

People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.

Live now on Messenger:

Cafeteria is a beautiful name for a baby girl.

Going bananas on WeChat:

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

Just shared via WeChat:

Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I had no social life in high school. Even my imaginary best friend had a date for the prom.

Just landed via Discord:

If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

I’m just trying to have a nice time despite knowing facts and information.

3 months ago

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Commentary:
Facts and fun are fighting a constant battle in my brain, but the fun part usually sneaks in a victory lap around Friday evening! 🧠🎉😂

attitude, enjoyment, fact, facts, fun, humor, information, just, knowing, knowledge, nice, time, trying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Buying a new phone isn’t even satisfying anymore. It’s literally just your old phone with a haircut.

0

2 months ago

buying, comparison, even, haircut, humor, just, new, old, phone, satisfaction, technology, upgrade
Caught the bouquet at the funeral.

0

2 months ago

bouquet, caught, death, event, funeral, humor, irony, unexpected, wedding
One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

0

2 months ago

aging, birth, birth date, date, forms, getting, getting older, halfway, having, humor, i, nap, noticed, observation, older, online, online forms, scrolling, short, stop, technology, thing, year
I travel like I’m rich, then eat like I’m broke.

0

4 months ago

broke, contrast, eat, food, humor, i, lifestyle, money, rich, travel
Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

0

5 months ago

after, car, home, humor, men, minutes, question, stay, waiting, why
Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

0

2 months ago

church, design, fart, humor, pew, shame, wooden

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on YouTube this month:

Ok, I cheated in school, but I did it the hard way and without AI.

40 shares on YouTube this month:

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

The real anti-aging regimen is retaining your childlike wonder and whimsy.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

64 shares on Discord this month:

20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

95 shares on Discord this month:

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

28 shares on Telegram this month:

Yes, I am super annoying, but don’t worry, it’s just permanent.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

It’s called shitposting, Your Honor. You should try it sometimes; it’s liberating.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

And where did Mr. Pepper receive his degree from exactly?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

If love is the answer then what was the question?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

You have never experienced true fear until a poster falls off the wall in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Let’s go out for carrots sometime.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

364 days until Christmas, and people already have decorations up. Unbelievable.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

He said he thinks I’m resilient to everything, so I thanked him, but on second thought, he may have low key called me a cockroach.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Shared recently on X:

On Halloween, I’ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Sometimes I use big words I don’t always fully understand, in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Sticking googly eyes on a potato and introducing him to everyone as my new boyfriend.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

Just landed via Threads:

WW3: I can’t fire my weapon unless I first watch a 15-second unskippable ad for Raid Shadow Legends.

Freshly posted on X:

Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

Trending via Discord:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m just trying to have a nice time despite knowing facts and information.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Buying a new phone isn’t even satisfying anymore. It’s literally just your old phone with a haircut.

Caught the bouquet at the funeral.

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

I travel like I’m rich, then eat like I’m broke.

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨