I’m not fat. I just eat in advance.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I miss the days when you could simply end a phone call by slamming the receiver down angrily.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

You ever go to a baseball game and hear a guy yelling, “hot dogs! hot dogs!” over and over again? That’s me, looking for hot dogs.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Threw my back out due to overwhelming sensuality again.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

I live in my own little world. But it’s ok, they know me here.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Stop bringing shitty Bluetooth speakers on hikes. No one came to the woods to hear you listen to Katy Perry.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.