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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

The person who invented butter really understood humans.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Do people who love escape rooms not know about IKEA?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Taking a sip of beer and letting out a big “ahhhh” so the pregnant lady at the pool next to me knows what she’s missing.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Resting bitch face saves me from so many conversations I don’t want to be part of.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Damn girl, are you a plate of microwaved leftovers? Because you’re hot on the outside and cold on the inside.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,706

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Hello, I’m looking for the people who said “I’ll always be there for you”. Has anyone seen them?

Going viral on Discord:

When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

Making waves on X:

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Sometimes I’ll drink a ginger ale and eat a Biscoff cookie and sit up in kind of an unnatural position and pretend I’m on a Delta flight.

Spotted on Discord:

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

Spotted on YouTube:

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

I’m not fat. I just eat in advance.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a watch when you can tell time by your stomach growling? 🍔⏰ #FoodieLife #HungryAlways"

advance, diet, eat, fat, food, humor, i, just, self-deprecation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ll stop smoking weed when life stops smoking me.

1 month ago

addiction, coping, coping mechanism, humor, life, me, mechanism, smoking, stop, stress, weed
Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.

2 months ago

always, away, call, communication, distance, ever, friendship, humor, just, me, need, need me, phone, phone call, remember, reminder, text, texts, unread, unread text
I actually do check to see if you told me happy birthday before I tell you.

4 months ago

actually, before, birthday, check, communication, expectation, happy, honesty, humor, i, interaction, me, memory, social, social interaction, tell, told
My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

1 month ago

communication, humor, internet, introvert, loneliness, motivation, socialize, socializing, technology, Wi-Fi, wifi, willpower
People don’t realize how hard you ride for them until you park.

1 month ago

effort, hard, humor, park, people, realization, realize, ride, support
Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

1 month ago

angry, baby, barking, crying, dog, humor, noise, pet, sound

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re doing cardio.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Do you use AI, or is the AI using you?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Me, when a 25-year-old talks to me: please be patient with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Sometimes I clean my room so dramatically, it feels like I’m erasing evidence.

Spotted on Messenger:

Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

Going viral on Facebook:

I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

Going viral on Messenger:

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

Just shared via Twitch:

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m just going to flip this omelette… Okay, we’re having scrambled eggs.

Breaking via Slack:

The best part of my kid graduating was unsubscribing from the school’s text messages.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m not fat. I just eat in advance.

I’ll stop smoking weed when life stops smoking me.

Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.

My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

People don’t realize how hard you ride for them until you park.

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Apparently the term for migraine-sufferer is ‘migraneur.’ Nice getting recognition as a kind of artisan of suffering.

Can we change the phrase “Can I be frank with you” to “Can I be william with you”? I don’t want to be Frank.

I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

We need a holiday at the end of every summer that honours all the women who wore sundresses.

Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.

Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again, and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo?

She poured the milk before the cereal. It was not meant to be.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

Nobody seems more shocked, disappointed and dismayed than the person behind the post office counter when I arrive and say I’ve got something to post.

Why is everyone against sugar? Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad? It wasn’t lettuce, for sure.

Grandparents are there to help the kids get into trouble and teach them stupid things they wouldn’t think of on their own.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I’ve been closer to death than a stable relationship.

After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

Being gracefully insane is the only way to survive life’s daily bullshit.

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I’m not fat. I just eat in advance.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’ll stop smoking weed when life stops smoking me.

Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.

I actually do check to see if you told me happy birthday before I tell you.

My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

People don’t realize how hard you ride for them until you park.

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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