Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the sweet victory of canceled plans! 🎉 Who needs a night out when you can have a cozy night in with Netflix and snacks, am I right? 💁‍♂️ Cancel away, I say – more quality time with my couch awaits! 🛋️ #CancelAllThePlans"

adulthood, age, cancel, enjoy, enjoyment, free, free time, i, introvert, people, plans, social, time, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Coffee doesn’t even work on me anymore. I just drink it because the taste tricks my brain into thinking I’m a functioning adult.

3 months ago
adult, brain, coffee, drink, even, functioning, functioning adult, humor, i, just, me, taste, thinking, trick, tricks, work
Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

1 month ago
bootylicious, circumstances, culture, fergalicious, humor, pop, pop culture, things, unfortunate, wordplay
It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

1 month ago
diet, eat, eating, fitness, food, health, humor, i, just, less, simple, simplicity, want, weigh, weight
They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

1 month ago
activity, bull, combine, competition, de, event, france, humor, next, running, should, sport, tour, Tour de France, year
The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

1 month ago
activity, attempt, cartwheel, crazy, day, exercise, fitness, got, humor, i, idea, nostalgia, physical, physical activity, self-deprecating, still
You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

1 month ago
cat, hair, house, humor, pet, thing, think

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Indiana Jones is a fantasy about being a professor with no admin duties.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Hate it when my mouth says something my brain was trying to keep quiet.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Hold on, let me overthink this.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

I love when dudes are named Guy. Like, yeah. Exactly.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Clicked on ‘Make a reservation’ on a restaurant’s page, and it opened FaceTime and started calling them. I cannot stress enough how much I do not want that to happen.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Instagram:

I take offense when people don’t invite me to events l’d like to turn down.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

If you want to make your mother proud, make her my mother-in-law.

Just shared via Slack:

Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

Live now on Discord:

I love how my brain is like, “We’re not going to think about that,” and then thinks about only that.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m officially at the age where I enjoy when people cancel plans.

Coffee doesn’t even work on me anymore. I just drink it because the taste tricks my brain into thinking I’m a functioning adult.

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I SAID YES!!!!!! after I asked myself if I wanted a breakfast burrito.

WhatsApp shouldn’t just display “seen”, but also “lies” and “also writes with other girls”!

When animals lead you to a place, it’s so cute… like, yes, I’m still following. Thank you for constantly turning around to make sure.

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

Perfume and jewelry are two things you can never go wrong with gifting me.

At this point, I’m rooting for the aliens.

I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

God invented war so that Americans can learn geography.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I like riding by myself so I can replay 1 song 111 times with no complaints.

When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this place immediately.”

My favorite part of my workday is when I grab my shit and leave.

Today’s politics make me think we’re living in a movie where the villains actually win.

Nothing is funnier than seeing how angry someone gets when they realize they can’t manipulate you.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

I’m officially at the age where I enjoy when people cancel plans.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Coffee doesn’t even work on me anymore. I just drink it because the taste tricks my brain into thinking I’m a functioning adult.

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏