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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Can I sell my feelings on ebay, I don’t want them anymore.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

I’m so bored of being bored, because being bored is really boring.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I had 99 problems but getting divorced solved 98 of them.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I really love how squirrels get extra chubby heading into winter mostly because it’s super relatable.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

No one ever talks about the 6th love language (being annoying).

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,588

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

Live now on Discord:

Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Everybody in the world, stop fighting or no dessert.

Breaking via Telegram:

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

Seen just now on Discord:

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

Spotted on Discord:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

My wife has a weird habit of starting conversations by saying, “Are you even listening to me?”

Spotted on Threads:

Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.

In university, you are either struggling academically, financially, emotionally, or all three.

Witty quote highlighting student struggles with humor and relatability.
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Commentary:
Trying to collect all three struggles like university Pokémon! 🎓💸😂

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on YouTube this month:

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

Why are these idiots only giving robots two arms?

25 shares on WeChat this month:

Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

27 shares on Facebook this month:

AirPods are hungry for earwax. It’s your job to feed them.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

65 shares on Twitch this month:

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

32 shares on Pinterest this month:

I want to be in Metallica, and they will not let me.

77 shares on Instagram this month:

My husband threw away a perfectly good box as if we might not need it in 20 years.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

23 shares on YouTube this month:

Silence is my favourite form of communication in the morning.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My family asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day, so I packed their bags and changed the locks.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone’s a gangster until their doorbell rings.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

No plans and no pants kind of day.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Really miss the drama of being able to angrily shut a flip phone.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,733

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Anime characters are always like “But you didn’t know about my eye,” and then they activate their mode.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Life is so draining, you fix one problem, here come 12 more.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

I’m on a spinning rock in outer space, and I have to answer work emails.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

I need a reasonable job. Something like $3,000 an hour. Nothing too wild.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

This family has a lot of nerve wearing all these clothes after I just did laundry.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come into work today. I’m trying to capture the childlike joy of December.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

I come from a long line of people with something wrong with them.

Trending via Pinterest:

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

Breaking via Discord:

My dad called my philosophy degree a “license for unemployment.”

Just shared via Slack:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Going viral on X:

Mercury retrograde: because adulting is hard, and sometimes you just need a celestial excuse.

Making waves on Telegram:

Why are conclusions necessary in essays? Were you not following?

Just shared via Snapchat:

Achieving AGI by reducing the intelligence of the average human rather than increasing the intelligence of AI.

Spotted on Telegram:

Not to brag, but I’ve done nothing for several hours.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Love when job applications ask for my desired salary so I can choose between not being hired and being exploited for my work.

Trending via Snapchat:

I hate when an old man tries to friend me on Facebook and then I realize we went to high school together.

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