Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,815

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

Making waves on Discord:

I want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before.

Spotted on Threads:

I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

Going viral on YouTube:

The Christmas tree I’ve had up all year makes a lot more sense now.

Making waves on Telegram:

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

Live now on Discord:

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Spotted on Discord:

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

In university, you are either struggling academically, financially, emotionally, or all three.

3 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to collect all three struggles like university Pokémon! 🎓💸😂

academic, emotional, emotionally, financial, life, struggle, student, student life, three, university

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s Monday, proceed with caution.

0

3 months ago

caution, humor, Monday, motivation, warning, weekday, workday
I’m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, car, creativity, crochet, DIY, going, humor, i, myself, new, steel, steel wool, wool
If i say “morning!” to you, it does not mean “good morning”, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning.

0

2 months ago

am, exclaiming, expression, good, greeting, horror, humor, i, mean, morning, sarcasm, say
When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?

0

2 months ago

bad, context, humor, just, mean, right, say, screen, screen time, time, work
Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

0

2 months ago

adult, affair, affairs, again, call, desperate, humor, less, relationship, situationship, sounds, terminology
Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

0

2 months ago

chewing, comfort, family, home, humor, loud, loud chewing, technology, where, Wi-Fi, wifi

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Twitch this month:

Bon Jovi must be at least 3/4 of the way there by now.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize, I honestly did not think you could read.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

99 shares on X this month:

You only live once and thank God for that.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

87 shares on X this month:

Can someone come over and take this phone away from me?

63 shares on Twitch this month:

Wow, another wooden ball. Would it kill avocado makers to put a different toy in there?

35 shares on Twitch this month:

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

98 shares on WeChat this month:

If someone texts “Do you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Remember it’s Christmas. You need to check your elf before you wreck your shelf.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I’ve decided that I’m going to underthink today.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Super excited to not contribute anything worthwhile today.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

I bet the guy who named the sperm whale wasn’t allowed to name things anymore after that.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Seems like the mosquitoes swiped right on me.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Sometimes people just need you to be genuine with them, and I personally have no problem pretending to do that.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Just because I’m friendly doesn’t mean I like you. It just means that I’m not rude.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

TMZ will find out you’re dead before you do.

Trending via YouTube:

Sorry I missed your call, I was staring in horror at the screen, wondering why on earth you couldn’t just text me.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

Spotted on Twitch:

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

Making waves on Reddit:

I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

Making waves on X:

My therapist should also do my nails while we’re talking.

Live now on YouTube:

I believe in annoyed at first sight.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

Just landed via Instagram:

As someone who was born in August, I find the word leotard extremely offensive.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

In university, you are either struggling academically, financially, emotionally, or all three.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

It’s Monday, proceed with caution.

I’m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.

If i say “morning!” to you, it does not mean “good morning”, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning.

When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?

Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨