It’s okay to feed your car a curb, as a little treat sometimes.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Friends with no kids are like: Want to go to New Zealand this Friday?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Valentine’s Day this week. If you have a crush on me we still have time to get cards and shave.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Explain it to me like I’m five then do it for me like I’m one hundred.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

The closer you are to nature, the further you are from idiots.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Sex makes you happy. So I understand your dissatisfaction.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

My bank account is also in retrograde.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

I’ve literally never copied and pasted text and thought, “I’m so glad it kept the formatting and font from the other document.”