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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can die.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Late replies don’t bother me. As long as we’re not in love, or you don’t owe me money, take your time.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

It’s the perfect time of year to focus on my indoor hobbies, like lying down in a dark room and feeling insane.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Scams used to be like “free money!” and now they’re like “hello, we have a job for you”, which seems to be a bad sign.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,398

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: “Close Enough.”

Seen just now on Threads:

I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.

Spotted on Facebook:

When old people say, “Long as you happy,” that means you’re pretty dumb.

Just shared via Messenger:

This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Am I just an Untitled Document to you?

Just shared via YouTube:

I speak for everyone when I say that finding the balance between watching movies, watching TV shows, and playing video games is harder than any job.

I’ve woken up yet again without an emotional support capybara.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your morning needs more capybara cuddles: emotional support rodents, where are you? 💤🦔

again, animal, capybara, emotional, emotional support, health, humor, mental, mental health, pet, support, support animal, waking, waking up

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You’re the human embodiment of an “ugh.”

0

5 months ago

embodiment, expression, frustration, human, humor, insult, reaction, ugh
I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

0

2 months ago

cooky, diet, diet pill, eat, eating, food, help, humor, i, loss, nervous, pill, push, push down, stick, struggle, throat, weight, weight loss
Having seductive eyes is not for the weak. I feel like Medusa.

0

2 months ago

allure, confidence, eyes, feel, having, humor, i, Medusa, mythology, seductive, seductive eyes, self-expression
I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

0

2 months ago

flying, humor, i, irony, people, plane, safely, sarcasm, say, travel
Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

0

2 months ago

another, cocktail, date, draft, flirtation, gaze, God, humor, lit, lust, need, playful, romantic, sin, witty
That second wave of sleep after waking up too early.

0

2 months ago

after, early, fatigue, morning, nap, rest, second, sleep, snooze, tiredness, too, waking, waking up, wave

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on X this month:

Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

95 shares on Threads this month:

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

11 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

12 shares on TikTok this month:

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

60 shares on Messenger this month:

My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.

91 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

No one flirts better than a guy who’s not interested in you.

79 shares on TikTok this month:

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

81 shares on YouTube this month:

Water bottle leaking in your bag is a top 10 worst experience.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

BREAKING: OpenAI to partner with OpenAI to help fund OpenAI. OpenAI up 90%.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

“Do not touch” must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

My goal for next month is small, simple, and clear: change my whole entire life.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Scrolling should count as cardio.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Not eating the cookie I’m craving. I better wake up skinny tomorrow.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

He took my last fry, your honor.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Making waves on Reddit:

“God has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?

Just landed via Pinterest:

Don’t forget to whine and complain about Monday today.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’ve woken up yet again without an emotional support capybara.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

You’re the human embodiment of an “ugh.”

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

Having seductive eyes is not for the weak. I feel like Medusa.

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

That second wave of sleep after waking up too early.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨