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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

You’re way hotter in your forties and fifties than in your twenties. The glow up is in the grow up.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

People who can’t tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals are missing the point.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Have you tried complaining about it?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

4,033

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

Women don’t apologize. They sleep naked and let you decide whether you are still angry or not.

Making waves on TikTok:

Sometimes I’m out in public and I have to look down real quick to make sure I remembered to put on pants.

Just landed via Facebook:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here talking baby talk to my plants.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

Seen just now on X:

Next to nothing is a weird place.

Trending via Pinterest:

You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

Just landed via Reddit:

Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?

Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.

5 months ago

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Commentary:
Sounds like you've found the secret to job security! 🍻🤔🤣

after, after work, close, coping, coping mechanism, drinking, drunk, humor, i, joke, just, mechanism, quitting, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

2 months ago

50s, aging, body, changes, health, humor, knees, life, life changes, sit, sit down, welcome
Yeah, the planet is dying. The government hates us. The animals are leaving. The aliens aren’t contacting us. We might be alone. It just might be you and me.

4 months ago

alien, aliens, alone, animal, animals, dying, existential, government, humor, just, leaving, loneliness, me, planet, relationship, us
That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.

1 month ago

awkward, awkward moment, confusion, conversation, humor, idea, interaction, just, misunderstanding, moment, social, social interaction, times
Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

2 months ago

always, app, apps, favorite, humor, kindness, kindness matters, know, matters, never, relationships, streaming, streaming app, subscriptions, unexpected
Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

2 months ago

bathroom, every, going, humor, i, Jim, John, morning, pun, say, start, wordplay
Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

1 month ago

bad, being, boil, going, going to sleep, habits, humor, issues, lifestyle, lot, me, morning, morning struggle, night, night struggle, problems, procrastination, sleep, sleep habits, sleep issues, struggle, waking, waking up

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Love it when my brain is like, “You forgot something,” and then refuses to elaborate.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I didn’t forget about you; my algorithm did.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

You know what part I love about waking up? None of it. Let me sleep!

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

Going bananas on Reddit:

My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

Just landed via Telegram:

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

Going viral on Twitch:

Life is so dull when you don’t have someone to flirt with.

Making waves on Reddit:

Why don’t straight men and lesbians hang out like straight women and gays do?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

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Activity Log ✨

Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

Yeah, the planet is dying. The government hates us. The animals are leaving. The aliens aren’t contacting us. We might be alone. It just might be you and me.

Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

I actually love talking to strangers, they will unknowingly say some shit that shifts your perspective, and you never see them again.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I don’t always seize the day. Sometimes I poke the day with my index finger and go, ew, ew, ew, ew.

Worst part about job hunting is knowing you don’t want one.

Source??? Pattern recognition.

The good news is that I’ve been finding new ways to waste my time.

If you’re reading this, drink some water. You’re not a cactus.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

Men are very good at being women lately.

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

It’s jarring for me when there are British people in the Midwest. How did you get this far inland?

Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

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Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

Yeah, the planet is dying. The government hates us. The animals are leaving. The aliens aren’t contacting us. We might be alone. It just might be you and me.

That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.

Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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