Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

I don’t get mad anymore. I’m just like “again?” Ok then.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Can’t believe my neighbor rang my doorbell at 3 a.m. last night… Luckily, I was still up playing the drums.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

She didn’t leave you on read, bro. You left her on speechless.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Immediately de-escalating an international conflict by posting an angry looking selfie with the caption “Come on, guys.”

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

I like my messages, how I like my nuts – MIXED.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

I don’t miss calls, I stare at them.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,373

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

And to my great-grandchildren, I leave 48,567 screenshots.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

Live now on Instagram:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Seen just now on Discord:

Your call is very important to us, here’s six days of irritating music.

Shared recently on Threads:

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

Making waves on Twitch:

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

Freshly posted on Discord:

One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

Making waves on Snapchat:

The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

Kinda worried about something. Don’t know what it is yet.

5 months ago

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Commentary:
When your brain has its own suspense thriller 📚🔍😅

anxiety, concern, confusion, feeling, humor, know, something, uncertainty, worry

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

0

2 months ago

asked, doing, favorite, hobby, humor, i, laziness, leisure, me, nothing, relaxation, self-reflection, someone
If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

0

2 months ago

dinosaur, getting, history, humor, joke, pet, repeat
You can tell a group isn’t gonna make it big just by their name.

0

5 months ago

band, band name, big, failure, group, humor, industry, just, music, music industry, name, prediction, success, tell
That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, begging for my cat’s attention.

0

2 months ago

animal, attention, begging, cat, corner, humor, pet, relatable, spotlight
Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, distraction, enough, everyone, headphones, humor, i, need, noise, shut, shut up, silence
After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

0

2 months ago

frustration, hour, humor, meeting, motivation, player, sarcasm, team, team meeting, team player, workplace

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Facebook this month:

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

24 shares on TikTok this month:

Everyone’s a gangster until they have to say sorry.

99 shares on Threads this month:

If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

43 shares on Slack this month:

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

87 shares on Discord this month:

Donnie Darko was also ahead of its time because the guy’s haunted by a giant Labubu.

75 shares on Twitch this month:

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

11 shares on Instagram this month:

“My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.

15 shares on Reddit this month:

Welcome to adulthood: 9pm is midnight now.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Homeless man just called me a “loser,” and I showed him my house keys.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I am not living la vida loca. I am loca because of la vida.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

All these deadlines, but it’s you I want to meet.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Manifesting you in my bed.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

I started calling the new guy at work “Grok” because he thinks he knows everything.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

You can always tell when a man is dating someone new. Why you going to the aquarium and the museum?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

Zara makes clothing for occasions that don’t exist.

Making waves on Reddit:

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

Going viral on X:

I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My life goal is to make you feel as awkward or awesome as you are making me feel.

Live now on Pinterest:

Imagine hating me and i’m just over here doing a much better job at hating myself than any of y’all could do.

Just shared via Reddit:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

Shared recently on Telegram:

My kids think I’m going to miss them when they leave for college, but I’ll be busy drinking my coffee while it’s still hot.

Just landed via X:

I can cope well with most situations. Hearing someone smack is not one of them.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’ve been commissioned to kiss you on the lips. I need to get this done by tonight.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Kinda worried about something. Don’t know what it is yet.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

You can tell a group isn’t gonna make it big just by their name.

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, begging for my cat’s attention.

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨