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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Having a conversation with me is kind of like taking the scenic route.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I was gonna brush up against you like a cat, but whatever, bro.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

What’s a girl gotta do to feel a dopamine high around here?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

100% of all babіes are unemployed. Pathetіc.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

The algorithm knows about that thing you like that you’re denying yourself of.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

I have thought one billion times about everything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,469

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via LinkedIn:

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

Live now on WhatsApp:

Apparently, throwing the remote against the wall didn’t help recharging the batteries.

Just landed via Discord:

My dog understands several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me.

Breaking via TikTok:

Getting paid to sleep would be such a dream job.

Trending via Twitch:

Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

Trending via Pinterest:

I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

Just landed via Facebook:

Every group chat has that one person who never replies, and it’s me.

Freshly posted on X:

This meeting could have been a cave painting.

Seen just now on Discord:

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

Let’s go out for carrots sometime.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sounds a-peeling! 🥕😄 When life gives us carrots, we make… interesting dinner plans?"

activity, carrot, casual, casual plans, fun, fun activity, humor, invitation, plans

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sometimes it feels better not to talk. At all. About anything. To anyone.

0

5 months ago

anyone, anything, better, communication, feelings, feels, interaction, introversion, mood, quiet, silence, social, social interaction, solitude, sometimes, talk, talking
Why do women complain about size but moan when fingered?

0

2 months ago

complain, fingered, humor, irony, moan, relationship, size, why, women
Every word wishes it could sound as fun as falafel.

0

3 months ago

every, falafel, food, fun, humor, language, pun, sound, wishes, word
Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

0

2 months ago

bot, communication, days, good, humor, memory, message, messaging, nostalgia, old, person, remember, technology, wonder
Just call me Mother Nature because I can go from hot to cold in a 24-hour period, too.

0

3 months ago

call, cold, hot, i, just, me, mood, mood swing, mother, Mother Nature, nature, period, swing, temperature, too, weather
Do y’all ever get pre-annoyed? Like, you already know someone is about to piss you off.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, anticipation, emotion, ever, frustration, humor, know, pre-annoyed, sarcasm, someone

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on X this month:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

82 shares on Facebook this month:

My fridge turns into a food retirement home, as soon as I buy groceries.

79 shares on Reddit this month:

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.

30 shares on Twitch this month:

Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

27 shares on Slack this month:

My super talent is hitting every red light on the way to wherever the hell I’m going.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Honk shuah. Sleep on that thang!

68 shares on Discord this month:

Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.

65 shares on Messenger this month:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

65 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t turn into a disaster.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Dance like nobody’s watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Working as a 911 operator but hanging up when someone starts screaming because I’m an empath, and it overwhelms me.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Relationship tip: Make sure you’re the crazy one.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Family Guy is so insane because, why were people dating that dog?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

What’s a beginner question to ask for someone just getting into being nosy?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Not trying to brag but this cop says my rear end is smoking.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.

Breaking via Reddit:

If I was a microplastic, I would simply not go in the ocean or anyone’s mouth.

Making waves on Instagram:

Seeing yourself on a FaceTime screenshot really humbles you.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

“Well, at least tomorrow is Friday.” -Me, having a bad Wednesday that’s about to get even worse.

Freshly posted on Slack:

That uncle or aunt who kept their distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense as you get older.

Trending via Twitch:

I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Screw you guys, I’m gonna go make friends with the crows.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Animals be 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Let’s go out for carrots sometime.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Sometimes it feels better not to talk. At all. About anything. To anyone.

Why do women complain about size but moan when fingered?

Every word wishes it could sound as fun as falafel.

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

Just call me Mother Nature because I can go from hot to cold in a 24-hour period, too.

Do y’all ever get pre-annoyed? Like, you already know someone is about to piss you off.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨