Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, “I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!” Then I said, “Turn left.”

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Adulthood – a never-ending story of shit you have to do.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Life tip: if nothing goes right, go to sleep.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I’m so broke, I owe myself money.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,475

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

Just shared via X:

The problem with relationships these days is you don’t know if you’re the one being cheated on, or cheated with.

Making waves on Twitch:

The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

Spotted on YouTube:

Your favorite little ball of silliness has logged in.

Going bananas on X:

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

People shouldn’t be at the grocery store the same time as me. Get out of the way.

Let’s go out for carrots sometime.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sounds a-peeling! 🥕😄 When life gives us carrots, we make… interesting dinner plans?"

activity, carrot, casual, casual plans, fun, fun activity, humor, invitation, plans

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

0

2 months ago

average, captcha, confidence, human, humor, irony, just, self-awareness, smarter, universe
The world started without permission again.

0

2 weeks ago

again, event, humor, permission, sarcasm, started, unexpected, unexpected event, world
You know you’re getting old when you get mad at some random car parked outside your house.

0

2 months ago

aging, anger, car, frustration, getting, getting old, house, humor, know, mad, neighborhood, old, outside, parked, parking, random
“It can’t get any worse than this”, I lie to myself knowing it will absolutely get worse.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, irony, knowing, lie, myself, optimism, reality, self-deception, struggle, worse
My body snaps, crackles, and pops louder than my cereal.

0

2 months ago

aging, body, body noise, breakfast, cereal, crackle, humor, joke, louder, noise, playful, pop, snaps
Heelys don’t have brakes because my swag rides forever.

0

2 months ago

confidence, forever, fun, Heelys, humor, ride, skate, swag

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Slack this month:

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

86 shares on Threads this month:

I was not meant to work a job; I was meant to lay down and ponder.

59 shares on Threads this month:

Are you bad wifi, cause im feeling no connection here.

64 shares on TikTok this month:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with her.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

61 shares on Slack this month:

Being too stressed isn’t good for the baby. I’m not pregnant though, it’s just that I’m the baby.

49 shares on Slack this month:

Not again. I mean good morning.

68 shares on Telegram this month:

Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

67 shares on TikTok this month:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

There are two types of people: Those who steal food off your plate and those who you keep in your life.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Who’s your favorite horror director? Mine’s God.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I was really happy about it being Friday until I realized it was only Wednesday.

Trending via Twitch:

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

Trending via Snapchat:

Gollum is like, “Actually, this is my emotional support precious.”

Seen just now on Messenger:

Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

Spotted on Instagram:

In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

Just shared via Twitch:

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

Spotted on Messenger:

Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.

Making waves on X:

My signature move is forgetting someone’s name 2 seconds after they tell me.

Seen just now on TikTok:

The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

Trending via YouTube:

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Let’s go out for carrots sometime.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

The world started without permission again.

You know you’re getting old when you get mad at some random car parked outside your house.

“It can’t get any worse than this”, I lie to myself knowing it will absolutely get worse.

My body snaps, crackles, and pops louder than my cereal.

Heelys don’t have brakes because my swag rides forever.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨