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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I may be sensitive, but everyone else could be a little kinder, too.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

They should invent a day where I don’t think.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

The Welsh language was invented by a dad losing at Scrabble.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

That’s not my girl bestie, that’s my platonic wife.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, it only strengthens my spirit when the summer people mourn their terrible season.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,595

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Making waves on Instagram:

When you first meet a man, that fake version of him be so fire.

Seen just now on Reddit:

My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

Making waves on Instagram:

Studies show that people with high IQs tend to be lazy, or something like that. I didn’t read the whole article.

Going viral on Reddit:

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

Going viral on Instagram:

If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Statistically speaking, people don’t object enough at weddings.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I was going to go for a run, then realized I could just run my mouth on here.

Spotted on Instagram:

“I’m not concerned about Netflix buying Warner Brothers. None of this will matter once we evolve gills and start living underwater.”

Just shared via Snapchat:

AI could never steal company time the way I do.

My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Why run a marathon when you can run a comedic sketch? 🏃‍♀️😂 #CardioIsOptional"

activity, both, friend, friendship, fun, fun activity, humor, i, joke, laugh, marathon, running, said

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.

0

4 weeks ago

birth, date, date of birth, exactly, health, hear, humor, i, information, just, lack, line, love, me, name, personal, personal information, pharmacy, pharmacy line, privacy, public, shouting, standing, world, wrong
“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

0

2 months ago

AI, creativity, digital, humor, i, joke, sarcasm, technology, tell
I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

0

2 months ago

1989, bike, bike crash, crash, injury, knee, knee injury, media, nostalgia, social, social media, storytelling
The recipe I’m making specifically says allow to cook undisturbed, and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

0

2 months ago

cook, cooking, distraction, family, food, humor, kitchen, making, recipe, standing, undisturbed, whole
Having to pay to read scientific and scholarly articles is a really disgusting and pathetic practice.

0

5 months ago

academic, academic publishing, access, access to knowledge, article, criticism, disgusting, education, frustration, having, knowledge, pathetic, pay, paywall, practice, publishing, read, research, scholarly, scholarly article, scientific, scientific article
I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

0

2 months ago

creature, fantasy, humor, irony, kid, kids, listening, love, mythical, mythical creature, unicorn, vampire, werewolf

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Threads this month:

People make the mistake of keeping aubergines in the fridge, when in fact they should be kept in the bin.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

The angel and devil on my shoulders are both completely fed up with me.

28 shares on Instagram this month:

Quitting a job is not enough. I need them to go out of business when I leave.

64 shares on Slack this month:

I hate that Al has now caused me to question the authenticity of cute animal videos online. I don’t even know if this baby penguin actually wore a beret to go buy a tiny baguette in Paris.

80 shares on Messenger this month:

Why read the room when you can leave the room?

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

60 shares on X this month:

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

Pursuing an academic career is like thinking the stripper loves you.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

If I say “with all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Half the world is mentally ill. The other half is to blame.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Who needs therapy when you can gaslight yourself into thinking that everything is fine?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Me: This is my favorite. I would like to buy this exact same item of clothing again. The fashion industry: No.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Today’s the day I’m gonna’ make the onions cry.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would have happened if you had just listened to her.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Growing up, there was a Cody in every elementary school class, but as an adult, I haven’t met a Cody in years. Where did they go?

Seen just now on WeChat:

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

Spotted on Discord:

It was me, I let the dogs out.

Just landed via WeChat:

My family passed down mood swings and anxiety instead of money or houses.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

Going viral on TikTok:

I have the sex drive of a potato.

Just landed via TikTok:

Anything can be a dating app if you aren’t a coward.

Just shared via YouTube:

Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.

Seen just now on Telegram:

You ever liked a song so much you restart it before it even finishes?

Just shared via X:

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.

“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

The recipe I’m making specifically says allow to cook undisturbed, and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Having to pay to read scientific and scholarly articles is a really disgusting and pathetic practice.

I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨