Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs fancy dinners or sweet nothings when you can show your love with dollar signs? 💸💕 Talk about speaking the language of the wallet! 💰😆 #MoneyTalks"

affection, being, finance, gift, humor, language, love, love language, money, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There’s a Marie Antoinette feeling in the air.

0

2 months ago

air, antoinette, feeling, history, humor, irony, marie, Marie Antoinette, reference
I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

0

2 months ago

cool, even, frustration, humor, i, ID, joke, know, landlubber, life, lose, losing, losing cool, me, nautical, sailor, sailor joke, sarcastic, sea, sea life
The art of today’s art is to persuade people that it’s art.

0

2 months ago

art, creativity, humor, people, perception, persuade, today’s, today’s art
Establish dominance by asking your dentist if he’s flossing everyday.

0

2 months ago

asking, assertiveness, care, dental, dental care, dentist, dominance, everyday, flossing, humor
I hate when people ask me: “Why are you so quiet?” Because I am. That’s how I function. I don’t ask others, “Why do you talk so much?” It’s rude.

0

2 months ago

am, ask, communication, function, hate, humor, i, interaction, introvert, me, much, others, people, personality, quiet, rude, rudeness, social, social interaction, talk, talking, why
How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

0

2 months ago

age, awareness, humor, matrix, old, others, perception, realization

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on YouTube this month:

Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

41 shares on WeChat this month:

Hey (with the intention of going to sleep).

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

24 shares on Threads this month:

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

Laying next to my charger waiting for my phone to die, that’s how lazy I am.

94 shares on Telegram this month:

How much longer do we have to keep pretending that Pilates isn’t a sex thing?

83 shares on Reddit this month:

If you push your belly button and nose at the same time, your brain takes a screenshot.

67 shares on Slack this month:

“PTO” stands for “prepare the others” because you’re not gonna be there.

59 shares on Threads this month:

“I’m basically the human version of finding $20 in old jeans.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

I’m always sad when my sandwich is over.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Doctors don’t really need to hit you with that rubber hammer, it’s just how they release a lil tension through the day.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Showing up late with an iced coffee is not about poor time management, it’s about knowing how to make an entrance.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I have nothing in common with people who “forget to eat”.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I only buy cookware with the handles that somehow get hotter than the pot itself.

Breaking via Snapchat:

The government even made aliens boring.

Just shared via Facebook:

Unfollowing girls on Instagram as soon as they get a boyfriend is something I’ll never stop doing.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Don’t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Making waves on Snapchat:

“We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.

Just landed via Threads:

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

Just shared via Twitch:

One of the best examples of someone posing a question that they already know the answer to is the WeightWatchers website asking me if I accept cookies.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My love language is being sent money.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

There’s a Marie Antoinette feeling in the air.

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

The art of today’s art is to persuade people that it’s art.

Establish dominance by asking your dentist if he’s flossing everyday.

I hate when people ask me: “Why are you so quiet?” Because I am. That’s how I function. I don’t ask others, “Why do you talk so much?” It’s rude.

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨