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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Love how Batman: The Animated Series seems to take place in the 40s and the 50s and the 70s and the 90s all at once.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

I highly recommend having hobbies. It distracts you from things like falling in love.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Normalize throwing lamps at people who need to lighten up.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

“Stop recording everything and just enjoy the moment” is asking me for videos from last night.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Remember that even the worst haircut will eventually grow on you.

Seen just now on Messenger:

It’s strange that watching paint dry is considered boring but going to an art gallery is considered interesting. That’s just watching paint that’s already dry.

Just shared via Slack:

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

Spotted on Snapchat:

There is no ‘we’ in ‘food’.

Just shared via Instagram:

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

Just shared via Snapchat:

It’s been too long since I partook in shenanigans.

Just shared via Twitch:

Love crawling into bed like it’s a spa retreat, only to wake up like I survived a bar fight.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

My new coffee table book, “Accidental Screenshots,” is available for pre-order now.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Can't wait to see all the blurry cat paws and unintentional selfies! 📸🐱✋😆

accidental, available, book, casual, coffee, coffee table, humor, media, new, novelty, pre-order, screenshot, screenshots, social, social media, table, tech

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

0

2 months ago

before, chocolate, diet, food, humor, indulgence, much, question, salad, too
If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge.

0

2 months ago

craving, food, food humor, fridge, fridge light, humor, joke, kitchen, kitchen joke, late, late night, light, midnight, midnight craving, midnight snack, night, snack, snack time, time
Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, communication, every, first time, humor, i, self-awareness, sounds, speak, talk, time, trying
Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

0

2 months ago

appear, bubble, expression, grateful, gratitude, heads, humor, inner, inner thought, mind, over, sometimes, thought, thoughts
In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, alive, army, battle, death, Eager, easy, Europe, heads, history, humor, life, medieval, pretty, wanted
Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

0

2 months ago

argue, argument, beat, conflict, experience, humor, idiot, level, logic, wisdom

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision.

36 shares on YouTube this month:

The most dangerous drinking game I play, is seeing how long I can go without coffee.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

For Christmas, I’d like to be understood.

57 shares on Threads this month:

How do I become a billionaire by 9 a.m. Monday? Please, it’s urgent.

27 shares on TikTok this month:

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

27 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

Fact: Snow in November happens because people decorate for Christmas prematurely. You know who you are. Stop it.

55 shares on Slack this month:

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

86 shares on Reddit this month:

My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes.

78 shares on Slack this month:

I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I need an app that deletes my number from other people’s phones.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

My so-called “friends” have asked that I stop referring to them that way.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

I don’t mind being fully naked or my top half being naked, but I hate being naked from the waist down only. This is why I could never be a cartoon duck.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Manifesting you in my bed.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Falling off academically is worse than a heartbreak.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

Live now on Messenger:

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

Just landed via Telegram:

If I worked construction, I would always say, “It’s hammer time,” when I left for work.

Going viral on Telegram:

In your twenties, there may be love. It’s very important to ignore this love and pursue a master’s instead.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Not a religious man but I do say a short prayer whenever I open a gas station restroom door.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I am listening to Pharrell Williams’ smash hit song “Happy,” and understanding for the first time that it was truly intended to distress.

Spotted on Twitch:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Trending via WhatsApp:

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Seeing an animal sigh is so funny to me. Like, what happened, buddy?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My new coffee table book, “Accidental Screenshots,” is available for pre-order now.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge.

Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨