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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Britney Spears working at an ice-cream shop called ‘Scoops, I did it again.’

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Did you seriously just pique my interest?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

My trauma is between me and this bartender. The rest of you, mind your business.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

My doctor told me “good luck” and gave me finger guns, so obviously I’m dying.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,755

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Please try to schedule meetings around my need for attention.

Trending via TikTok:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not having a job.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

Just shared via Discord:

You should never forget where you came from. That’s probably where your keys are.

Just landed via Pinterest:

You have to stay up as needlessly late as possible to make the next day as horrible and hard as possible.

Trending via WeChat:

Get a Ring camera so you can yell at your kids when they’re out front and freak them out.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

My new coffee table book, “Accidental Screenshots,” is available for pre-order now.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Can't wait to see all the blurry cat paws and unintentional selfies! 📸🐱✋😆

accidental, available, book, casual, coffee, coffee table, humor, media, new, novelty, pre-order, screenshot, screenshots, social, social media, table, tech

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

1 month ago
forgive, hope, humor, love, relationships, second, stupidity, third, time
What did people do before eyeglasses, like half the world just walked around not being able to see?

4 months ago
able, around, before, being, eyeglass, eyesight, half, history, humor, just, observation, people, question, vision, world
Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

1 month ago
adulthood, favorite, funny observation, gas, gas station, humor, life, life transition, observation, responsibility, station, transition, welcome
I’m not well rested. Sleeping Beauty was well rested.

1 month ago
beauty, comparison, fairy, fairy tale, humor, rest, self-deprecation, sleep, sleeping, Sleeping Beauty, tale, tiredness, well
They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

1 month ago
call, call volume, center, customer, customer service, frustration, humor, invention, irony, normal, service, should, volume
People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

1 month ago
allowed, customer, customer interaction, customer service, day, employee, employee humor, fight, Fridays, frustration, humor, interaction, management, people, relief, service, should, stress, stress management, stress relief, work, work frustration, workplace

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Funny thing about zombie movies – they never seem to go after the cameraman.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Going to the beach as a feet guy must be insane.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

If you get cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Know what goes good with beer? Another one.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Welcome to college, where every single person is smarter than you, except for the three people in your group project.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

My friends put their kid to bed and then made us ice cream sundaes, which is exactly what I assumed was happening when my parents put me to bed.

Trending via Telegram:

About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

Going viral on Twitch:

In a massage chair at the mall just moaning really loud.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My body is a machine that turns traumatic experiences into 10 likes on X.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My new coffee table book, “Accidental Screenshots,” is available for pre-order now.

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

What did people do before eyeglasses, like half the world just walked around not being able to see?

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

I’m not well rested. Sleeping Beauty was well rested.

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

Clicking on a suspicious link at work just to feel something.

I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

My therapist said this to me, and it hit me like a brick: “They’re not your friends if they disagree with you or try to challenge you.”

Maybe making another financially irresponsible decision will fix me.

Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

I’m full of rage, but in a very chill and nonchalant way.

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.

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My new coffee table book, “Accidental Screenshots,” is available for pre-order now.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

What did people do before eyeglasses, like half the world just walked around not being able to see?

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

I’m not well rested. Sleeping Beauty was well rested.

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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