My new coffee table book, “Accidental Screenshots,” is available for pre-order now.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Me, seeing a man proposing to a woman in public: Hey, this guy bothering you?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Sunday is proof that time travel exists, because it was just Friday.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

After being raised on Disney movies, I’m very disappointed how few adult problems can be solved by a good song and dance.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I bought some coconut shampoo today. I got halfway home before I thought, “I don’t even have a coconut!”

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Whenever my Mother-in-Law’s stories end with “And I turned out OK” I’m looking around like who’s gonna tell her.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.