Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

  • Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.
  • Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.
  • Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.
  • I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.
  • If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”
  • Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.