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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

If you ghosted me, don’t come back. Maintain that energy, babe. Stay dead.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

The human body requires so much maintenance. Who designed this thing?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Thinking of starting a religion around cheese.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

If you’re reading this, drink some water. You’re not a cactus.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Jan 5, 2026

3,498

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Eating trail mix should count as hiking.

Spotted on Twitch:

Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

Shared recently on Slack:

Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.

Just shared via Reddit:

He who laughs last didn’t get it.

Spotted on TikTok:

Being a dog must be wild, everyone you meet is your masseuse.

Spotted on X:

My superpower is giving you the middle finger using my eyes only.

Going bananas on YouTube:

To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

Spotted on Twitch:

If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.

Trending via Telegram:

Being smart is a curse. You see the game, the lies, the patterns, but you still gotta play dumb to survive.

New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

2 months ago

0

New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Breaking news: A revolutionary email opener has hit the scene! 💌✨ Say 'I am interested in bothering you!' and watch those responses flood in like never before. Who knew bothering someone could be so engaging? 😜 #EmailGameChanger"

am, bother, bothering, communication, dropped, email, humor, i, interest, just, new, opener

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.

0

2 months ago

budget, celebration, everyone, firework, happy, humor, independence, july, neighbor, sarcasm, unemployed, wish
People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

0

1 month ago

apartment, apartment window, Christmas, Christmas tree, decoration, display, face, gratitude, holiday, holiday humor, humor, people, public, public display, put, service, street, thank, thank you, tree, trees, window, Windows
Eating Chinese takeout is never as depressing as in the movies. It usually is good.

0

2 months ago

Chinese, Chinese takeout, depressing, eating, expectation, expectation vs reality, food, good, humor, movie, never, reality, takeout, vs
Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

0

2 months ago

call, communication, course, distraction, example, humor, i, irony, me, mobile, put, someone, technology, time
Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

0

2 months ago

am, communication, directions, frustration, humor, i, me, people, predictive, predictive text, recipe, send, technology, text, Thanksgiving, tired
Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

0

5 months ago

addiction, addiction recovery, caught, colada, getting, great, humor, meet, meet people, people, piña, piña colada, place, rain, recovery, reference, rehab, socializing, song, song reference

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Messenger this month:

Men call us “gold diggers” when we expect them to pay for a meal. Honey, a gold digger goes after yachts, not a piece of chicken.

23 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m not being smart, I’m just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If buying isn’t owning, then pirating isn’t stealing.

52 shares on Reddit this month:

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

18 shares on YouTube this month:

Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

51 shares on Messenger this month:

Don’t worry. There is still hope for the summer: the rain should get warmer soon.

55 shares on WeChat this month:

The best way to use Twitter will forever be as an observer.

77 shares on Telegram this month:

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

32 shares on TikTok this month:

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls are happier when their dress has pockets, it’s science.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Doggy style is out cat style is in. It’s where I let you touch me until I’m satisfied then ignore you and scratch you if you try and touch me again.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,628

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

German couples probably have less arguments because there’s an exact word for, “I’m fine, just annoyed you forgot the milk again”.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

Going viral on Instagram:

Ever since I turned 20, someone is always in Japan or Italy. Is it like this forever?

Trending via WeChat:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

Making waves on Slack:

The only reason I haven’t gone crazy yet is because I’m just too lazy.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Seeing yourself on a FaceTime screenshot really humbles you.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Mental state: just googled “When will the sun explode.”

Spotted on Instagram:

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

Just landed via Snapchat:

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you won’t let go of.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

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