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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

James Bond really accurately predicted that the biggest threat to life on Earth is super-rich businessmen, whose money didn’t make them happy, and now their hobby is destroying the world.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

McDonald’s only giving me 9 Chicken Nuggets instead of 10 is how my villain origin story began.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

We need a holiday at the end of every summer that honours all the women who wore sundresses.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Being too stressed isn’t good for the baby. I’m not pregnant though, it’s just that I’m the baby.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Don’t be jealous.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

At this point, if I get picked up by aliens, I’m just gonna go ahead and consider it a rescue mission instead of an abduction.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Farting, but with eye contact.

Just landed via WeChat:

I like my women like I like my glasses: thick, transparent, and uneven.

Spotted on Slack:

Going “Omgg, that’s crazy,” every time my coworkers talk until it’s time to go home.

Going viral on X:

Aside from cocaine, has anyone figured out what that little pocket on your jeans is for?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Are there cheat codes for parenting teenagers? This level is really hard.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

Spotted on Instagram:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can die.

Trending via TikTok:

Christmas is a very special time when I give my brother a $100 gift card, and he gives me a $100 gift card.

Breaking via Pinterest:

My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

Not my circus, but I’ve grown quite fond of its monkeys.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
These monkeys are starting to feel like family 🤦‍♂️🙉🎪

amusement, chaos, circus, fondness, grown, humor, monkey

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.

6 months ago

birthday, birthday wish, born, buying, celebration, gift, humor, i, myself, nice, personal, personal treat, self-care, shopping, something, today, treat, wish
Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

2 months ago

appearance, cat, devil, hairless, hairless cat, humor, joke, possession
Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

2 months ago

Christmas, contacts, deserve, hope, i, just, merry, phone, wishing, work
I’m at that point on a Monday where no.

2 months ago

exhaustion, feelings, humor, Monday, point, resistance, where, work
Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

2 months ago

arrogance, confidence, disregard, ego, humor, most, peasant, peasants, people, pride, think
Parenting just means you have to pretend you like to eat fruits and vegetables in front of your kids, knowing you’d rather eat a cheeseburger instead.

2 months ago

cheeseburger, choice, diet, eat, family, food, food choice, food preference, front, fruits, honesty, humor, humor quote, just, kids, knowing, life, means, parent, parent life, parenting, parenting struggle, preference, pretend, struggle, vegetables

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

Pinky promises are still a legit foundation of trust.

49 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m sorry I pretended I was dead when I saw you in public.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

21 shares on Telegram this month:

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

39 shares on Instagram this month:

Give it to me straight, doc, what can I do to be healthier besides changing my entire lifestyle?

40 shares on Reddit this month:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you started eating chips.

89 shares on Slack this month:

Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

All I care about is being financially stable and getting sexier.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If someone texts “Do you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

The paintings I always like the most in museums are the ones that have a bench.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Took a break from social media because my cat was asleep on my phone.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

I don’t care for small talk. I prefer awkward silence.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

My mood is currently on “shuffle”.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

My advice to kids in kindergarten is to start saving all the money.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

Shared recently on WeChat:

This December is not Decembering like the other Decembers Decembered.

Spotted on TikTok:

Drugs do not ruin your career. Drug tests do.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Not my circus, but I’ve grown quite fond of its monkeys.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.

Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

I’m at that point on a Monday where no.

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

Parenting just means you have to pretend you like to eat fruits and vegetables in front of your kids, knowing you’d rather eat a cheeseburger instead.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨