Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

A murder on the dance floor would explain the panic! at the disco.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Forget a dinner date, let’s go sit in court listening to people’s cases.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I am not in a good place, geographically.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Life is pretty much just a series of awkward and embarrassing moments, separated by snacks.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Growing your own tomatoes really is the best way to devote 3 months of your life to saving $2.17.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

There I was, quietly reliving my dream of having my own house, when suddenly I was attacked by insane prices.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,608

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

One of the toughest jobs in parenting is serving the inevitable eviction notice on your kid’s pillow fort.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

Spotted on Facebook:

Fact: WhatsApp is the most boring app if you’re single.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

Spotted on WeChat:

All I’m saying is that porn gives us an unrealistic expectation of how quickly the electrician shows up.

Just landed via X:

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I like that they put all that stuff outside for you to look at when you’re on a walk.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

Making waves on YouTube:

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

Spotted on Instagram:

The government even made aliens boring.

Oh, him? He’s my insignificant other.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Insignificant others: where your plus one is more like a plus zero 🎉😆

humor, insignificant, insignificant other, oh, relationship, sarcasm

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“Never let someone else destroy your stuff when you can destroy it yourself”, every kid I ever.

0

2 months ago

childhood, destroy, ever, every, humor, i, individuality, kid, let, self-destruction, someone, stuff, yourself
I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

0

1 month ago

celebrity, city, comedy, humor, i, jealousy, luxury, money, much, satire, sex, show, TV, TV Show, upset, watch
Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasn’t shot on my street.

0

1 month ago

another, big, big city, city, day, explaining, family, footage, humor, mom, new, New York, saw, shot, street, york
Money talks, and also waves goodbye.

0

1 month ago

finance, goodbye, humor, joke, money, saying, talk
You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

0

1 month ago

baller, bawler, crying, emotions, humor, i, know, lot, me, misunderstanding, someone, wordplay
Eating watermelon and minding my own business.

0

5 months ago

business, casual, eating, fruit, humor, minding, minding business, own, relaxation, summer, watermelon

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Threads this month:

Remember it’s Christmas. You need to check your elf before you wreck your shelf.

33 shares on Facebook this month:

I come from a family of failed magicians. I have two half sisters.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Maybe if I spend another day alone in my room then something life-changing will suddenly happen to me!?

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

38 shares on Facebook this month:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

28 shares on Instagram this month:

Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

52 shares on X this month:

Airports are so funny. Like, “Oh, you’re flying across the country? Would you like to hang out in a mall first?”

64 shares on TikTok this month:

Why is incognito mode always associated with freaky shit? I use it to search up very obvious questions, so there’s no record of me looking dumb.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m not tispy. I’m merry.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

My favorite machine at the gym is the one where you put change in, and snacks come out.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer and come out wrinkle free?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Babe, are you OK? It’s already Q4, and you’ve barely touched your “2025 roadmap.”

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If I honk at this person, maybe it will make them a better person.

Shared recently on Discord:

Some people are like wallpaper… same pattern repeating every time.

Making waves on Discord:

I hated rats even before my girlfriend left me for one.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Nobody flirts better than a girl with zero interest.

Breaking via Instagram:

“I’m getting to an age where I realize I shouldn’t have laughed at my grandparents for having an ‘upstairs’ vacuum.”

Just shared via Threads:

I came, I saw, I was disappointed, so I left.

Trending via YouTube:

My eye doctor is alarmingly young and when he said he thought I had a chalazion or a hordoleum, I thought he might be referencing Pokémon.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Making waves on Pinterest:

At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Oh, him? He’s my insignificant other.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

“Never let someone else destroy your stuff when you can destroy it yourself”, every kid I ever.

I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasn’t shot on my street.

Money talks, and also waves goodbye.

You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

Eating watermelon and minding my own business.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨