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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Legos are too expensive nowadays. They should go back to costing as much as they did when my parents paid for them.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Love crawling into bed like it’s a spa retreat, only to wake up like I survived a bar fight.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I don’t wanna meet your family, bring my plate to the car.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

If you can stand me, you deserve me!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,456

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Today I learned that up to half of the worker ants in a colony are only pretending to work, just looking busy so they don’t get tasked with anything. I respect ants so much more.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

If at first you don’t succeed, the internet will let you know immediately.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I don’t understand, “kill them with kindness”; can I use a lightsaber instead?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

Trending via Discord:

Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

6 days ago

Witty quote about aging and changing perspectives in a humorous tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Life comes at you fast, one minute you're the life of the party, the next you're admiring architecture like a seasoned historian. 🏛️😄 Embrace the journey from wild and carefree to mature and cultured – it's all part of the hilarious ride called adulthood! 🎉👵"

building, day, fun, next, pretty, saying, things, young

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Can I just skip to the part in my life where I’m rich and happily in love?

20 shares on Instagram this month:

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

57 shares on WeChat this month:

That sound when you close the cupboard and hear something fall inside, that’s the sound of somebody else’s problem.

72 shares on Twitch this month:

I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I’m done with work.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

“Do you like using Twitter?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

23 shares on Discord this month:

They call it a coffin because they’re finally coughing up that inheritance.

99 shares on X this month:

I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to mess me up.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’d rather lose you than the argument.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Might mess around and reply to all work emails with “make me”.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

For a girl that loves sleep and hates stress, my career choice is questionable.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

We’ve all at least once caught our toes when putting on our knickers and jumped around the room like idiots.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting well wishes for Christmas.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,279

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Before we all die from nuclear war or a global climate crisis, can we get a little alien invasion as a treat.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Beds are always the coziest when it’s time to get up and you don’t want to.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Santa: “Don’t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey.”

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

Just shared via Threads:

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

Going viral on Instagram:

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

Going viral on Snapchat:

I’m a comedian. My pronouns are ha/ha.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

What is it called when you’re smart but everything you do is freaking stupid?

Making waves on Discord:

The answer is a cabin in the woods, by the way.

Live now on Threads:

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.

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