Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

I’m 27 and a half. I should be on my first divorce by now.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

What are y’all gonna do when those labubus come to life and start biting y’alls ankles?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

One day you’re cool and then the next, you realize your favorite pair of pants are sweatpants from the grocery store.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me I’m gonna say “I’m a biter” and see how it goes.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

It’s funny how sometimes you buy a book, then read it in two days, and sometimes you buy a book, and it lives on your bookshelf for 12 years.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

What no one ever considers is that the kids are pretending to believe in Santa for the sake of the parents.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Men can stay up til 2 a.m., wake up at 6, be in debt, broke, alone, and still have faith that one day, everything will work out. It’s called being a man.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,462

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Never skip the footnotes – it’s here you find out who made the author angry enough to write the article.

Just landed via Slack:

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

Just landed via TikTok:

I’ve taken a long, hard look at myself. I won’t be doing that again.

Trending via Discord:

Women are like apples; I like biting them.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

Going viral on Snapchat:

What’s a polite way to tell someone you hope they get mauled by a bear?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Sorry I missed your call, I was staring in horror at the screen, wondering why on earth you couldn’t just text me.

Just landed via Facebook:

No, I wasn’t dancing. I got harassed by a bumble bee.

Just landed via WeChat:

We’d all look younger if we just avoided young people.

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Life comes at you fast, one minute you're the life of the party, the next you're admiring architecture like a seasoned historian. 🏛️😄 Embrace the journey from wild and carefree to mature and cultured – it's all part of the hilarious ride called adulthood! 🎉👵"

, , , , , , ,

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Slack this month:

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

35 shares on Discord this month:

When you ask for your phone charger back and your teenager has the audacity to ask “what percentage are you on?”

71 shares on Reddit this month:

Only money has the right to say “you’ll regret losing me”. The rest of you calm down.

48 shares on WeChat this month:

Why can’t the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself.

14 shares on Instagram this month:

Does anyone play Trivial Pursuit anymore, or did it retire with the encyclopedias?

17 shares on WeChat this month:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

I miss when my hardest decision was Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

90 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I am deeply overwhelmed and yet incredibly bored at the same time.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

My career goal is to be able to just delete my LinkedIn account at some point.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a girlfriend who doesn’t post herself on social media is an underrated blessing.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

People don’t get slapped enough with empty gloves these days.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Did you ever buy a pack of underwear, take them out, and think, wow, these are huge… then try them on, and they fit perfectly?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I can’t tonight. I’m busy taking things personally.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, when a 25-year-old talks to me: please be patient with me, I’m from the 1900s.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d like to know what my dog is thinking as he watches me try one outfit after another while getting ready for a party.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,735

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Today I learned that up to half of the worker ants in a colony are only pretending to work, just looking busy so they don’t get tasked with anything. I respect ants so much more.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I like my bed more than I like most people.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

I stay away from beef-flavored cat food. At no point could Sylvia realistically bring down a cow, and I don’t need that kind of ego in the house.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

You are the Monday of my life.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Mini skirts are so cute and fun, like, oops, my ass is out.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Being a writer means having a story you want everyone in the world to read, except anyone who knows you.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

I’d rather you don’t watch me while I’m liking my own post.

Shared recently on Slack:

I was born a boy, but according to the packaging, I identify as a family of four.

Just landed via Facebook:

I just heard someone refer to Texas as “Howdy Arabia” and I still haven’t stopped laughing.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

Just shared via Facebook:

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

Seen just now on Facebook:

And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Please pray for my daughter, who had to empty the dishwasher when she “just did this yesterday and she’s tired.”

Shared recently on Facebook:

I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.

Going viral on Discord:

A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would have happened if you had just listened to her.

Just landed via X:

No, sorry, next week won’t work. I’ll be a shadow of what I once was.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴