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Sounds like my new dating strategy: just take a really hard nap! 😴💤
The absolute hottest thing you can do in front of a woman is tame a horse, but unfortunately, modern life affords us little opportunities for that.
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Who knew my horse-taming skills would go to waste? 🐴💁♂️ #ModernProblems
Nobody can ragebait as successfully as your own mother can.
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Moms have a PhD in pushing buttons 😂👩🎓💥
It’s crazy how drinking poison makes you feel like shit the next day.
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Sounds like a great way to dodge house chores the next day! 🍷🤢🛌
Can’t believe my neighbor rang my doorbell at 3 a.m. last night… Luckily, I was still up playing the drums.
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Guess my drumming wasn't a soundproof success story after all! 🥁😴🔔
I totally understand those uncles and aunts who don’t attend gatherings.
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Finally, a benefit of adulting: mastering the art of tactical family event evasions! 🚪🚶♂️👋😄
Social media needs to crash for like a year so society can recalibrate.
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Finally, a vacation plan for our thumbs! 🌴📱🚫😅
I have never read a Hacker News thread where any of the commenters seemed as if their life contained joy.
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This comment section has as much joy as a robot trying to tell dad jokes 🤖😄
Men absolutely love buying the same shirt in four almost identical colors and saying, ‘Yep, that’ll do me for the next three years.’
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Guess it's called "variety" when you own four shades of "almost the same" 😆👕👕👕👕
Cutting my steak at Texas Roadhouse with my car keys.
Commentary:
They say everything's bigger in Texas, including my keychain knife skills! 🥩🔑😄