Commentary:
That's the sweetest apocalyptic love story I've ever heard! 💍💥❤️
Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.
Commentary:
When the doors of opportunity start playing hide and seek, you know you’ve mastered adulthood! 🚪🙈😂
Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.
Commentary:
Dodging drama like a professional ninja while perfecting my 'busy bee' impression 🐝🙅♂️🤫
The hardest thing about chess is the other guy is always doing some shit.
Commentary:
Trying to guess my opponent's next move is like predicting a cat's mood 🐱🤯♟️
First date idea: we deactivate your Instagram.
Commentary:
Finally, a chance to focus on undivided awkward silences! 📱🚫😂
America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.
Commentary:
Just waiting for the episode where everyone gets amnesia and someone announces, "It was all a dream!" 😂📺🎬
Annoyed because I want to live my life without a job.
Commentary:
Living my best life: professionally unemployed 😂🏖️✨
My style isn’t even my real style yet. Just wait till my budget matches my vision.
Commentary:
When my wallet catches up with my dreams, even my shoes will be strutting like they're on a mission! 👠💸✨
I wonder how many calories I can burn petting my cat.
Commentary:
Burning calories, one purr at a time! 🐾💪😺
Unfortunately, a great many problems in life can be solved by just being hotter.
Commentary:
Guess it's time to turn up the thermostat on this looks game! 🔥😎