Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

I have lived way too many lives for people to think they know everything about me.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Today, I want to talk about underperforming continents. Antarctica, explain yourself.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

I enjoy the freedom of speech, because if you let crazy people talk, they’ll totally tell you they’re crazy.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Avocado is just green butter.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I miss when bills were none of my business.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

It’s crazy windy today. Trash is blowing everywhere, so watch out for your ex.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Descibe your boobs only using a picture of them.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

515 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,108

Funny Quotes Topics

17,263

Funny Quotes Images

15,108

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,623

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

Making waves on YouTube:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Golf would be more exciting to watch if they played naked.

Going viral on Reddit:

I don’t post for money or fame, I post because there’s something seriously wrong with me.

Making waves on Threads:

“Do you like the Microsoft Teams app?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Just shared via Slack:

I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

Making waves on Telegram:

God bless the student essay that is so confused and rambling, there is zero chance that they used AI.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

Seen just now on Instagram:

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

More funny quotes 👇

“You’re just mad my gut microbiome is way more diverse and complex than yours.”

0

6 days ago

bacteria, biology, complex, complexity, diversity, gut, gut microbiome, health, humor, joke, just, mad, microbiology, microbiome, science, science joke, yours
Using ChatGPT requires you to actually be smart; otherwise, it just regurgitates your dumb takes back to you.

0

6 days ago

actually, AI, back, ChatGPT, dumb, dumb take, humor, intelligence, just, otherwise, sarcasm, smart, take, technology, using
That urge to nap between 3 p.m. – 5 p.m. is no joke.

0

6 days ago

3, 5, afternoon, joke, nap, time, urge
You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

0

6 days ago

acquaintance, again, casual, casual acquaintance, chill, day, interaction, life, lol, never, social, social interaction, someone, university, whole
25 is the new 0 years old.

0

6 days ago

25, age, birthday, celebration, humor, milestone, new, number, old, youth
They should make a biopic of just some random guy.

0

6 days ago

biography, biopic, guy, humor, just, movie, random, random guy, satire, should
I love being home and doing absolutely nothing and never contributing to society.

0

7 days ago

absolutely, anti-social, being, doing, doing nothing, home, humor, i, laziness, love, never, nothing, procrastination, relaxation, society
Sorry for acting weird, I am weird, and it will happen again.

0

7 days ago

acting, again, am, apology, happen, humor, i, personality, self-awareness, sorry, weird
Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

0

7 days ago

again, care, communication, dismissal, humor, i, indifference, me, mention, need, phrase, professional, professional phrase, sarcasm, say
Co-worker: You look so unapproachable. Me: Yet, here you are.

0

7 days ago

co-worker, conversation, coworker, here, humor, me, sarcasm, unapproachable, workplace

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on WeChat this month:

Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad.

81 shares on X this month:

A 20% discount sounds great until you realize you can’t afford the other 80%

66 shares on Telegram this month:

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

Asking “how’s the job hunt going?” is a lot like asking “did you come?” I promise you, you’d hear if there was any success.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

90 shares on Reddit this month:

Sorry, I can’t hang out tomorrow. I hung out with people a week ago and I’m still recovering from that.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

71 shares on Threads this month:

Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Once this pandemic ends, I’m legit quitting video games and getting a girlfriend for real.

98 shares on Messenger this month:

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

What many call beauty can just be wiped off 90% of the time.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

After careful consideration, I think I’d have way more fun if I was incredibly stupid.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Can someone write me a note to get out of being a responsible adult?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people… together.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

Just shared via Reddit:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Just shared via Pinterest:

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

Just shared via TikTok:

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

Trending via Snapchat:

Statistically speaking, on average, a person has two arms, two legs, one testicle, and one ovary.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

When you get angry, take a breath and count to ten. Throw a punch at eight. Nobody expects that.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

You should be allowed to miss work if you’re not feeling sexy.

Just shared via Twitch:

It’s exciting to receive a Valentine’s Day card and not know who it’s from. A Father’s Day card, not so much.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

Trending via Threads:

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨