Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting. Posted onMay 20, 2026
Dogs are man’s best friend because a dog would never blindside you with a group chat. Posted onMay 20, 2026
I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely. Posted onMay 20, 2026
They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind. Posted onMay 20, 2026
I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly. Posted onMay 20, 2026
I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows. Posted onMay 20, 2026
I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes. Posted onMay 20, 2026
Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious. Posted onMay 20, 2026
My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, there’s now food on the floor. Posted onMay 20, 2026
If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win. Posted onMay 20, 2026
I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event. Posted onMay 20, 2026
I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years. Posted onMay 20, 2026
I will marry a tall, masculine, lovey-dovey man who can’t breathe when I ignore his existence. Posted onMay 20, 2026
Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon. Posted onMay 20, 2026
Anyone else brush their teeth in the shower so they can get a little sloppy with it, or is that just me? Posted onMay 20, 2026
No more bare minimum, I want the moon and the stars. Maybe even a planet at this point. Posted onMay 20, 2026
I do believe TikTok saves the funniest videos for late at night. There’s no way. Posted onMay 20, 2026
I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop. Posted onMay 20, 2026
The best piece of dating advice I’ve ever received is “If they like you, you’ll know. If they don’t, you’ll be confused.” Honestly, it’s all you need to know. Posted onMay 20, 2026
The first bowl of cereal makes you want a second, but the second makes you wish you stopped at the first. Posted onMay 20, 2026
If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf. Posted onMay 20, 2026