Wordgag ツ

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, “Wow, this changes everything.”

Is it stupid and irresponsible? Yes. Will it make me happy? Also yes.

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.

I’m like 2% cute and 98% ugly.