Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

“You’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

To anybody who thinks being self-employed means you don’t have to work for a boss you hate, I have terrible news.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

It’s really hard to come back after a poorly executed high five.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.