Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Wake up, the thinking isn’t going to overthink itself.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Calling women “bro” to make sure they know they’re in the deepest trenches of the friend zone.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

A quick shoutout to all of the sidewalks out there… Thanks for keeping me off the streets.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Performative male is kinda just a rebrand of metrosexual, which is just a way to say a straight guy is a little bit faggy.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Many men also have a walk-in closet. For them, it’s just called a floor.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

My Uber driver didn’t try to talk to me the entire ride. Five stars.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,579

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

I like driving by myself. I just played the same song 36 times.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I missed out on drowning tragically young in a suburban swimming pool.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

Trending via YouTube:

There’ll be a time someone will convince you to watch Game of Thrones. It is very important that you listen to them and watch.

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When your halo is just as fragile as your alibi 😇👀"

around, humor, patience, patience test, sarcasm, situation, social, social situation, something, test, too, witnesses

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

0

5 months ago

change, dealing, discussing, ever, frustration, grocery, grocery store, health, humor, i, layout, mental, mental health, next, session, shopping, store, therapy, trauma
Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

0

4 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, bit, body, body reaction, boner, boy, Funny, getting, humor, moment, random, random boner, reaction
Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

0

4 months ago

choose, communication, humor, i, just, meeting, meetings, podcast, work
My body feels like it’s aging in dog years.

0

2 months ago

age, aging, aging sign, body, dog, dog years, feels, health, humor, joke, sign, year’s
Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

0

2 months ago

20s, advice, early, early 20’s, exactly, gap, generational, generational gap, giving, humor, late, late 20s, life, life stage, newborn, obsession, someone, stage, toddler
It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

0

2 months ago

assumption, compliment, fault, humor, i, meant, misunderstanding, positive, said, sarcasm, stunning

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

78 shares on Telegram this month:

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

47 shares on WeChat this month:

Does anyone know if it’s possible to buy the transcripts of audiobooks? Thanks!

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Saying “You’re tearing this family apart” whenever someone argues with me.

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

10 shares on X this month:

The greatest trick ever was making people feel more connected, when they are actually more alone than ever.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

56 shares on Telegram this month:

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

My birth year getting a lil too far on those lil scroll lists. I don’t like that.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Humble enough to know I can be replaced, but wise enough to know ain’t nobody else like me.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

In your 20s and 30s, you’ll start rediscovering the niche interests and hobbies you had as a kid. It’s very important you revisit them. Your younger self was actually on to something.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Due to inflation, a picture is now worth 2300 words.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

My guardian angel is probably preoccupied with sports betting apps and generative AI, that’s why she’s letting all these bad things happen to me.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

“Thank you for choosing Amtrak.” No problem. There are no other trains.

Trending via Threads:

I don’t need the web for attention, I jog in a wedding dress.

Just shared via YouTube:

“Do you like the Microsoft Teams app?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Going viral on Snapchat:

I hope this is the year my teen learns how to turn off a light when she leaves a room.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

Live now on Discord:

I’m afraid to go to therapy — what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

Trending via Messenger:

When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

Live now on Messenger:

My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

My body feels like it’s aging in dog years.

Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨