Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasn’t shot on my street.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Knowing I’ve been called crazy, but never ugly, is how I sleep at night.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

You can be under 25, just don’t do it around me.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Guys only want one thing and it’s my grandmother’s meatball recipe.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

235 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,504

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,504

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,308

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via YouTube:

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

Spotted on Telegram:

Ghost stories sound way scarier with an English accent.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I’m so disappointed when I help my kid with her homework, and she brings it home marked incorrect.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m thinking stuff like “yeah” and also stuff like “yup.”

Just landed via Instagram:

You look like the kind of person who would hit rock bottom and then start drilling.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

Just shared via Instagram:

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

Making waves on Threads:

I’m gonna start cursing people out but with biblical phrases like I hope your crops wither and bear no fruit and the ravens eat your mustard seeds.

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Robert De Niro's facial expressions are so potent, they could clear a room faster than a nasty fart! 💨😆 #StinkFaceMaster"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“A healthy lifestyle is all about balance,” I say as I drive through Taco Bell after working out.

0

5 months ago

after, balance, bell, diet, drive, exercise, fast, fast food, fitness, food, healthy, healthy lifestyle, humor, i, lifestyle, say, taco, Taco Bell, through, working, workout
Who are these people that buy unsalted butter on purpose?

0

2 months ago

butter, cooking, food, humor, people, question, unsalted
The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

0

2 months ago

actual, anticipation, before, day, day off, fun, humor, night, prelude, relaxation, satisfaction
I would like to thank everyone who destroyed me into the person I am today.

0

3 months ago

adversity, am, everyone, gratitude, growth, humor, i, me, person, personal, personal growth, resilience, sarcasm, thank, today, transformation
Drugs don’t ruin lives. Drug tests do.

0

2 months ago

addiction, consequences, drug, drug tests, drugs, humor, irony, lif, ruin, society, tests
The main reason I got divorced was cause I got married.

0

5 months ago

cause, divorce, got, humor, i, joke, main, marriage, married, reason, relationship

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My retirement plan is recording a hit Christmas song. I just need to learn how to sing and write music.

10 shares on Telegram this month:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

38 shares on Facebook this month:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

59 shares on Discord this month:

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

100 shares on Threads this month:

Take one positive friend and one negative friend with you on your next road trip. That way when your battery dies, you can hook cables to them and start your car.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

Getting a boner because the Lego instructions are telling me what to do.

90 shares on Discord this month:

I think God’s next test for me should be, “Can he handle a ridiculous amount of money.”

85 shares on Messenger this month:

I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

We all need to put the phone down, or it’s over for civilization.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Haven’t seen a single bikini photoshoot in the snow this year; the girls are tired.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I need money, not feelings.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

Seen just now on Messenger:

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

Going viral on Pinterest:

Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

Live now on Instagram:

Why be just a part of the solution when you can be the whole problem?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

When I say I love the ocean, I mean I love the surface. Whatever goes on beneath has my respect, but it’s none of my business.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Not now, I’m befriending a crow and teaching it how to deliver handwritten love notes.

Going viral on Discord:

I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Hey bro, please stop using all the good skipping rocks at the river.

Going bananas on WeChat:

A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

“A healthy lifestyle is all about balance,” I say as I drive through Taco Bell after working out.

Who are these people that buy unsalted butter on purpose?

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

I would like to thank everyone who destroyed me into the person I am today.

Drugs don’t ruin lives. Drug tests do.

The main reason I got divorced was cause I got married.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨