Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

It’s ok to not have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have a groundhog on Groundhog’s Day.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

There are no adults in the room. The cavalry is not coming. Everything was built by people no smarter than you.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I love cute tiny purses, but I’m sad to say I can never be a cute tiny purse girl. I need to haul my hoard of objects everywhere I go, because what if….

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

I love Fleetwood Mac, but “thunder only happens when it’s raining” is just not true.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

You can do laundry every day and still be behind on laundry.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

There should be a Jaws sequel where the shark finally gets arrested for his crimes and goes to jail.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

My fitness goal is to lose two straight jacket sizes.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,301

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

People will be like “Nobody cares about your Spotify Wrapped,” and then post a picture of their baby.

Going viral on Telegram:

Please solve a murder to prove you’re not a bot.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If I had money, my life would be pretty much the same, but my dogs would destroy much nicer stuff.

Shared recently on Slack:

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

Just landed via Discord:

My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

Scared to go on dates, cause what if I find the one and never be able to be single again.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Taking a leap of faith into coupledom sounds thrilling, but the fear of successful love is real! 🏃‍♂️💔😆 #SingleSwanSong

able, again, cause, commitment, date, fear, humor, i, love, never, relationship, scared, single

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

0

2 months ago

boss, calls, christ, delusional, head, humor, i, Jesus, Jesus Christ, keeps, me, misunderstanding, nickname, shaking, shaking head, think, workplace
Applying for jobs sometimes is wild, like how am I supposed to be passionate about a company I don’t even work for yet?

0

2 months ago

am, application, career, company, employment, even, humor, hunt, i, interview, job, job application, job hunt, jobs, passion, wild, work
Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

0

2 months ago

downfall, enjoy, enjoyment, humor, i, karma, me, people, revenge, schadenfreude, unfortunately, watching, wrong
Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

0

2 months ago

desire, drive, existential, humor, joke, life, live, relationship, sex, sex drive, will to live, yes
Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

0

2 months ago

cookie, humor, i, indulgence, just, minute, movie, procrastination, self-deception, tell
Started from the bottom and I’m still ain’t shit.

0

2 months ago

ain’t, bottom, humor, irony, persistence, self-deprecation, shit, still, struggle

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Messenger this month:

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

73 shares on Reddit this month:

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

Everyone wants the bagel to be everything, but no one asks if the bagel needs anything.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

99 shares on Reddit this month:

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

When you’re talking to someone and you can tell they’re trying out a new word.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

British people be like “I’m Bri ish” cause they drank the “T”

29 shares on Reddit this month:

Cutting my steak at Texas Roadhouse with my car keys.

97 shares on Slack this month:

Can’t be sexting when you’re somewhat articulate. You just sound like a vampire.

50 shares on Discord this month:

I need a reasonable job. Something like $3,000 an hour. Nothing too wild.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Might lay here until someone draws my chalk outline.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

That awesome moment when you open the fridge and the first thing you see is the thing you wanted to eat.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Going viral on X is like winning a lotto during the apocalypse.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word “herein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

My favorite genre of tweet is conservative guy asking Grok, ‘Is this true?’ and then arguing with it when it doesn’t give him the answer he likes.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by “Wham” encourages you to do something you shouldn’t do.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Website: We use cookies to improve performance. Me: Same.

Going viral on Facebook:

I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

When life closes a door, just open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.

Making waves on Threads:

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

Trending via Threads:

If I was on Love Island, I would get wasted and drown in the pool, altering the course of every contestant’s life forever.

Trending via Threads:

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Those guys holding fish in their dating profile pictures are just demonstrating how they’ll carry you over the threshold after marriage.

Live now on TikTok:

Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Scared to go on dates, cause what if I find the one and never be able to be single again.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

Applying for jobs sometimes is wild, like how am I supposed to be passionate about a company I don’t even work for yet?

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

Started from the bottom and I’m still ain’t shit.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨