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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Can somebody explain to me why it’s bad if immigrants take our jobs, but it’s good if AI does?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Uber drivers have secret access to a streaming service of exclusively the worst music you’ve ever heard.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Breakfast is the most important beer of the day.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

For Halloween, I will be okay.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I need to figure out what I’m going to wear to the couch on New Year’s Eve.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Jan 5, 2026

3,474

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Asking people their favorite color and then calling them liars.

Live now on Twitch:

Deodorant? No, I never need to buy any. People just give it to me. Complete strangers sometimes.

Trending via Reddit:

I was about to organise my closet, but I then I found what I was looking for.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Live now on WeChat:

She is both the storm and the shelter.

Trending via YouTube:

Everybody hates me for being a beautiful angel with a perfect soul.

Just shared via Instagram:

It’s a paradox that your nose is running and your feet smell.

Just shared via Instagram:

A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.

Going viral on Facebook:

“Stop thinking about it.” Wow, thank you, I am cured. You should write a book.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Thinking the bodega owner likes you is exactly the same as thinking the stripper likes you.

Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

2 months ago

0

Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"No worries, I was just marinating in the suspense of waiting for your reply like a fine wine aging to perfection 🍷. Isn't leaving someone on read the modern-day equivalent of a cliffhanger in a soap opera? 🤔 #UnintentionalDrama"

apology, communication, humor, i, just, left, mean, message, open, procrastination, read, sorry, text

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Saturday Night Fever, but it’s just me yelling, “Five, six, seven, eight!” while my cat lies down and refuses to participate.

0

2 months ago

cat, dance, eight, fever, five, fun, humor, just, me, night, pet, pet refusal, quarantine, quarantine fun, refusal, refuses, Saturday, Saturday Night Fever, six, solo, weekend, while, yelling
I’ve been heading in the wrong direction for most of my life, but since the earth is round, I’m just going to stick with it and see it through.

0

2 months ago

direction, Earth, going, humor, journey, just, life, optimism, perspective, round, self-reflection, stick, wrong, wrong direction
Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

0

2 months ago

appreciate, appreciation, comparison, dog, family, humor, kids, listen, parenting, pets, well
Gollum is like, “Actually, this is my emotional support precious.”

0

2 months ago

actually, character, emotional, emotional support, Gollum, humor, lord, Lord of the Rings, meme, precious, rings, support
Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

0

2 months ago

challenge, drinking, dry, Dry January, even, humor, i, January, laugh, month, people, worse, worst, worst month, year
I’d stalk me too, I get it.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, ID, me, media, sarcasm, self-awareness, social, social media, stalk, stalking, too

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Telegram this month:

Happy Earth Day. You don’t look a day over 4 billion years and get hotter every year.

57 shares on Slack this month:

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

41 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t argue with idiots on the Internet, I just keep scrolling and mind my own business.

92 shares on Threads this month:

When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

82 shares on Facebook this month:

I want a man who doesn’t annoy me while I’m constantly getting on his nerves. It can’t be that difficult.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

There is no bigger day for microwaves than the 26th day of December. This is their Olympics.

98 shares on X this month:

Not eating the cookie I’m craving. I better wake up skinny tomorrow.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If I turned into a “teen wolf”, my first order of business would definitely be helping my basketball team get to the local championships.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

In retrospect, I guess “one drunken night of stupidity” isn’t the best response when a child asks you where babies come from.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s important that everyone takes really good pictures of me this summer.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

She doesn’t want flowers, she wants to invoke an ancient curse.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Printers and computers treat each other like they broke up the night before, and you’re their mutual friend.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Normalize saying, “I’m not informed enough to have an opinion on the matter.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,610

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Men are like dogs. They’re actually cute, but having my own would be too much work for me.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

A pretty girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

If they cancel the Simpsons, we will no longer be able to see into the future.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

For whom the doom scrolls!

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Telegram:

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

Live now on Slack:

ASAP can also mean as slow as possible.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I need to stop saying “Oppa Gagnam Style!” to fill in awkward pauses in conversation.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I’ve reached the conclusion that all men love thigh high stockings.

Breaking via Slack:

I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

Going viral on Facebook:

I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

Just shared via Slack:

Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

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