Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

I would do absolutely anything for my friends, except answer their text messages.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Ever looked at your ex and wondered, was I drunk the entire relationship?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,684

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

Making waves on Threads:

If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I’m surviving motherhood, one teenage meltdown at a time.

Making waves on Telegram:

My first instinct when I see an animal is to say “hello.” My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away.

Just shared via YouTube:

Whatever happened calorically this weekend can never happen again.

Spotted on TikTok:

All of my problems boil down to me being bad at being alive.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

Spotted on Telegram:

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Do u guys also have a story in your head, and when you’re bored, you just add more to it and continue from where you left off?

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

The first bowl of cereal makes you want a second, but the second makes you wish you stopped at the first.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Cereal dilemma: the struggle is real! It's a crunchy conspiracy! 🥣😂🍀

appetite, bowl, breakfast, cereal, eating, regret, second, snack, stopped, want, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

0

2 months ago

again, crazy, hear, me, moment, never, person, realization, realize
What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

0

5 months ago

buddy, finance, humor, i, joke, money, net, net worth, own, pun, wordplay, worth
I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

0

2 months ago

age, check, confusion, daily, daily life, forgetfulness, glasses, humor, i, life, memory, pills, put, remember, where
I would like to have the peace of mind of a cow. I already have the body.

0

2 months ago

body, cow, humor, i, mind, peace, peace of mind, relaxation, self-reflection, simplicity
Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

0

2 months ago

activity, awkward, cowgirl, date, dating, first date, fun, fun activity, humor, relationship, reverse, reverse cowgirl
I’m not feeling very worky today.

0

2 months ago

feeling, humor, motivation, procrastination, productivity, today, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

33 shares on X this month:

Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become your problem.

57 shares on X this month:

Went for a walk. Very pleasant evening. The squirrels and rabbits kept running away from me. That stung a little. I will remember their faces.

51 shares on TikTok this month:

If the USA is so great, why did someone make the USB?

37 shares on YouTube this month:

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

93 shares on Messenger this month:

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

20 shares on YouTube this month:

You are my favorite dirty thought.

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Good things happen when you smile or when you’re naked.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Moms be like, “I needed this,” and it’s really just a break from being the one who holds it all together every single day.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Procrastination isn’t a horrible thing. I mean, you always have something to do tomorrow… plus you have nothing to do today.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

They expect me to work at work.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Whenever I go down the stairs next to an escalator, I always move faster than the escalator to prove to the people I made the better decision.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

Nighttime is when I remember that one weird thing I said in 6th grade, and feel bad about it forever.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I need an emergency cheeseburger.

Spreading quickly via X:

Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money.

Going viral on Facebook:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

Shared recently on Slack:

It’s a paradox that your nose is running and your feet smell.

Making waves on Reddit:

All we needed to be happy in the 90s was music and cigarettes.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I need to watch his hairline recede.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The first bowl of cereal makes you want a second, but the second makes you wish you stopped at the first.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

I would like to have the peace of mind of a cow. I already have the body.

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

I’m not feeling very worky today.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨