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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

“Have you asked Chat GPT?” Have you lost your mind?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Nobody plays better together than siblings being told it’s bedtime.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Nothing bores me like twins who don’t look alike, you should’ve just dropped later if you’re not going to participate.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Terrible economy to ask a girl what’s wrong.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Jan 5, 2026

3,471

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

Some people are like clouds. When they go away it’s much better.

Shared recently on Facebook:

The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Roses are red. Daisies are white. I’m in a grumpy mood. My underwear is too tight.

Broadcasted on Discord:

My dog understands several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me.

Live now on Reddit:

I love a touchy-feely man. Like, yes, please keep your hands on me.

Breaking via Facebook:

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Have you guys heard of recency bias? I hadn’t, but now I’m seeing it literally everywhere. Must be a big deal.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Death by a thousand stupid questions.

Trending via Instagram:

People tell introverts to talk more and get out of their comfort zone, but no one tells extroverts to shut up to make the zone comfortable.

The paintings I always like the most in museums are the ones that have a bench.

2 months ago

0

The paintings I always like the most in museums are the ones that have a bench.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, yes, the art of finding a bench in a museum – truly a masterpiece within a masterpiece! 🖼️🪑 Who knew that sitting down could enhance one's appreciation of fine art? Perhaps the true masterpiece is the bench itself, offering tired museum-goers a moment of respite in the midst of cultural contemplation. 🎨🤣

always, appreciation, art, bench, humor, i, most, museum, painting, paintings, relaxation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

0

2 months ago

ambition, aspiration, bags, goal, Gucci, humor, land, luxury, materialism, never, success, wealth
Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

0

2 months ago

clumsiness, embarrassment, face, fall, faster, hand, humble, humor, nothing, phone, slip, slipping, technology
I’m in my thirties, but I still feel like I am in my twenties; then I hang out with people in their twenties, and I’m like nope, definitely in my thirties.

0

2 months ago

age, age gap, am, definitely, feel, feeling, feeling young, gap, hang, humor, i, nope, people, self-awareness, socializing, still, thirty, twenty, young
Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

0

2 months ago

absolutely, animals, beaver, confusion, curiosity, decision, decision making, doing, even, humor, just, know, making, nature, river, think, water
Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

0

6 months ago

awake, clock, every, grandfather, grandfather clock, hour, humor, insomnia, nothing, remind, reminder, sleep, still, time
I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

0

2 months ago

always, arm, carry, grocery, humor, i, keys, multitasking, one arm, pocket, struggle, wrong, wrong pocket

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

57 shares on Slack this month:

The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

When you’re a parent, your skincare routine is just the steam from the dishwasher when you open it to find the coffee cup you just needed.

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

19 shares on Threads this month:

Clueless but committed – that’s my vibe.

67 shares on Reddit this month:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Men used to smoke Marlboros. Now they cry when they lose their strawberry cheesecake vape.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

My spirit animal is a sloth on its fourth nap of the day!

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If you think voting is pointless wait until you hear about writing posts here.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Glad to be born at a time when I got to see what life was like before the internet, and will be dead before AI completely destroys humanity.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I love a touchy-feely man. Like, yes, please keep your hands on me.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Icarus loved hot wings.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

How I clean my room: 1. Start in one corner. 2. Find something from six years ago and stare at it nostalgically for five hours. 3. Go to bed.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,469

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

There are no laws against pineapples on pizza.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Maybe your baby is crying because he knows you don’t have rizz.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Always stay crazy. Otherwise you’ll go crazy.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

When the job market is so bad that you’re going to follow your dreams instead.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Christmas adverts: “Eat all the food! Drink all the drink! Spoil yourself! It’s Christmas!” New year adverts: “Look at what you’ve done to yourself, you fat sack of shit!”

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

It’s been so long since I had sex last, went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound.

Seen just now on WeChat:

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

Trending via Facebook:

If I don’t text you saying Happy New Year, we still gang, I’m just lazy.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Sorry, I can’t come. I’m still recovering from the last time I went out.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Some days I feel I’m on top of the world, and other days it feels like the world is on top of me.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Yeah, I have a drinking problem. It’s called dehydration.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

Just landed via Snapchat:

Just a friendly reminder folks. Don’t forget to set back your rooster this weekend.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Sometimes I’ll pause a YouTube video to scroll on reels. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to be loved genuinely.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

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