The real hack is pouring all that lover girl energy into yourself.

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I’m not good at solving Pi, but I’m really good at eating it.

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Don’t worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

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Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

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Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

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The length of a LinkedIn Post is directly proportional to the amount of bullshit in it.

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My step counter doesn’t judge. For him, steps to the fridge are just as valuable as a walk.

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Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

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I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

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Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.

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My love language is being sent money.