Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Don’t ruin a good sundress by wearing panties.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Asbestos? I’m doing asbestos I can.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Twitter is just a diary I choose to show to strangers.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

I hate it when someone gives me a valid solution to my problem and I have to find something new to complain about.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be just water.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,687

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

I hope this email blows your head smoove off.

Going viral on TikTok:

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

Just landed via WeChat:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Seen just now on Discord:

I hate it when I’m outside, and an insect lands and crawls on my glasses, and for a split second, I think aliens have invaded.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I will never fall victim to groupthink. I have perfectly unique opinions that no one else has, and they are the dumbest nonsense you’ve ever heard.

Just landed via Instagram:

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

Spotted on X:

First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.

Just landed via Facebook:

I wonder if this is all happening because I opened that umbrella inside.

Just shared via Telegram:

I use karate strictly as a last resort, after I’ve exhausted fleeing and screaming.

Trending via Facebook:

I was meant to be rich, I can tell by the way I spend money.

The real hack is pouring all that lover girl energy into yourself.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Transforming into my own walking romance novel, starring me, myself, and I! 💃💕📚

empowerment, energy, girl, hack, humor, love, lover, real, self, self-love, yourself

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Damn, how much daylight are they trying to save? It’s dark as hell.

0

2 months ago

change, complaint, dark, daylight, daylight saving, hell, humor, much, sarcasm, save, saving, time, time change, trying
A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

0

2 months ago

curiosity, humor, know, knowledge, little, little knowledge, parenting, phase, realization, realize, toddler, why, why phase
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

0

2 months ago

body, body image, even, food, humor, i, image, life, own, pants, priorities, relationship, sex
Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

0

2 months ago

confusion, favorite, Fliccaroni, food, Googling, humor, i, joke, pasta, real, say, sure, too, types
That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

0

2 months ago

attitude, drawer, humor, junk, junk drawer, moments, office, office supply, pen, picked, procrastination, random, random moments, supply, today, unexpected, used, writing
Toilets are not a crime scene, traces may be removed!

0

2 months ago

bathroom, cleanliness, crime, crime scene, humor, joke, scene, toilet, toilets, traces

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My bra isn’t just padded — it’s also filled with cookie and chip crumbs.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

77 shares on Twitch this month:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

“Oh, I’d love to but I can’t.” Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t.

20 shares on Messenger this month:

In your 20s, there will be a cat, and it is very important to get that cat and spend so much money on it.

94 shares on WeChat this month:

They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

38 shares on Slack this month:

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

Fun like a LinkedIn notification.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

What is your favorite movie where Tom Cruise runs really fast?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Alligators can live up to 100 years which is why there is an increased chance that they will see you later.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

God knew I’d be too powerful if He made me not annoying to women.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

After being raised on Disney movies, I’m very disappointed how few adult problems can be solved by a good song and dance.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

This entire month could’ve been an email.

Just shared via Discord:

I love when I clean my whole apartment just to sit in it like a Victorian widow waiting for bad news.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Maturity is when you realize money can actually buy happiness.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

Going viral on Slack:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

Just landed via Twitch:

In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

Freshly posted on Threads:

The cool thing about being a procrastinator is, really bad ideas also don’t ever make it off the ground.

Breaking via YouTube:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a vacation… while still on vacation.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

If white men can’t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

The real hack is pouring all that lover girl energy into yourself.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Damn, how much daylight are they trying to save? It’s dark as hell.

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

Toilets are not a crime scene, traces may be removed!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨