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When you're trying to ignore chores but someone says Game of Thrones is more important… guess I'm officially part of the Night's Watch now! 🏰🐉🍿

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

2 months ago

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We’re all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.

2 months ago

bubble, bubble wrap, childish, distraction, fun, humor, mature, playfulness, someone, wrap
As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

5 months ago

age, aging, amazing, bird-watching, birdwatching, creeps, fast, hobby, humor, nature, older, older age, pastime, surprise
After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

2 months ago

after, away, cheese, confirm, enough, food, grandma, humor, i, italian, month, much, never, Parmesan, pasta, scare, too, travel
I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

3 months ago

abbreviation, am, autocorrect, communication, excited, excitement, hate, humor, i, iPhone, man, smartphone, technology, texting
“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

2 months ago

challenge, choice, difficult, difficult life, easy, easy life, humor, i, just, life, life philosophy, philosophy, should, simplicity, want

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Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

100 shares on TikTok this month:

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

66 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I lost my composure in 1992. I haven’t seen it since.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

55 shares on Facebook this month:

Heelys don’t have brakes because my swag rides forever.

70 shares on TikTok this month:

“I’m in a really good place right now, not mentally. I’m just indoors with air conditioning.”

77 shares on Messenger this month:

Eating the rest of the donuts will keep me from eating donuts tomorrow. My logic is flawless.

65 shares on Discord this month:

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

69 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I honk at this person, maybe it will make them a better person.

30 shares on X this month:

Before we become friends, could you please sign this NDA.

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Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Forever grateful that thought bubbles aren’t a real thing.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

The problem is I am always the problem.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

If people love cheese so much, why are they mad when someone smells like cheese.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Piñatas are a fun way to intentionally maim the guests at your party.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

Going to have a hobbit boi summer (throw a huge birthday party for myself, then mysteriously vanish right after insulting everyone).

Freshly posted on Discord:

No camera can do justice to a landscape that melts your heart.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Just found out that rock bottom has a basement.

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Activity Log ✨

There’ll be a time someone will convince you to watch Game of Thrones. It is very important that you listen to them and watch.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

We’re all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

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