Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

(While my wife opens up her Christmas present) Remember when you said we needed milk?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Why there is always a kid crying when I go to the store? Dude, you aren’t the one paying for it. Stop!

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Hi, I’m online. Would you like to argue for an hour about whether a hotdog is a sandwich?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

I miss when 1K was a lot of money.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Someone said I should think before I speak and I said “eww what a horrible way to live”

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Why’s it always “NYC smells like pee” and never “my pee smells like the greatest city in the world”?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Do I need to have seen the Tokyo Olympics in order to understand the Paris ones?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,644

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

Seen just now on Threads:

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Your in his DMs, I’m on Etsy paying a witch to put a spell on him.

Trending via Messenger:

Why do men have birthdays? It’s not like they’re growing up.

Making waves on TikTok:

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Welcome to your 40s. You’re home from the party before you used to go out for the party in your 20s.

Breaking via Twitch:

And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Babe, what’s wrong? You’ve barely tweeted your manic thoughts today.

Going viral on Discord:

Don’t fall in love. It’s bad.

Just shared via X:

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

This entire year has been the Nightmare Before Christmas.

3 weeks ago

Witty text capturing a humorous take on a chaotic year, playful and relatable.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like we're all living in Tim Burton's calendar! 🎃🗓️🎄

before, Christmas, festive, holiday, humor, nightmare, spooky, year

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Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Reddit this month:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

Why is incognito mode always associated with freaky shit? I use it to search up very obvious questions, so there’s no record of me looking dumb.

19 shares on Slack this month:

Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

85 shares on YouTube this month:

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

14 shares on X this month:

That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

I only like when it rains when I’m home.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

How many filters does it take before it’s technically a painting?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

I’m still trying to dig myself out my ringtone debt from the late 90’s.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

It’s so embarrassing when attention seekers feel the need to tell everybody it’s their birthday in, like, every conversation, which, for me, would be today, by the way.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

I love to see “pan-fried” on a menu. I hate food that’s fried in a shoe.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Very confusing that gross pay is before tax. I always find the number way grosser after tax.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

A collective orgasm would fix the world.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My therapist says he can’t take any more of my talk and that I should join a group. So, here I am.

Just landed via Discord:

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

A moth flies into your face out of nowhere. You could ask him why he does that, but what would you do with the information?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

Just shared via LinkedIn:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next you sneeze too hard and hurt your neck.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I probably think this song is about me.

Trending via YouTube:

Normalize saying, “Just as the oracle foretold,” when things go your way.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I love a touchy-feely man. Like, yes, please keep your hands on me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

This entire year has been the Nightmare Before Christmas.

From a very young age, I knew that everyone was wrong and I was right.

Pepsi & Coca-Cola can’t even be in the same restaurant… and we want world peace.

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

This entire year has been the Nightmare Before Christmas.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Not pretty enough for Instagram, not funny enough for Twitter. Welcome to WhatsApp status.

From a very young age, I knew that everyone was wrong and I was right.

Pepsi & Coca-Cola can’t even be in the same restaurant… and we want world peace.

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨